You Are The Common Denominator
You fit into all of your interactions in one way or another. That means you can influence most of what you encounter and experience.
Work ethic is important because, unlike intelligence, athleticism, charisma, or any other natural attribute, it's a choice.
An Open Letter
Kids, there’s an aspect about life, about growing up, and facing the realities that shape who we become that may show itself to be more important than it appears on its face.
First off, I love you all, infinitely.
Every challenge, every joy, every trial we've shared has only deepened that love.
But today, I need to share a tougher truth, one that might sting a bit at first:
The only consistent character in all your problems, in all your dramas, is you.
That’s a hard pill to swallow, isn’t it? But stick with me here. Recognizing this isn't equivalent to casting blame or shaming anyone. It's simply the starting point on the journey toward feeling empowered, taking control of your life, and influencing the outcomes you experience.
You see, every one of us faces a barrage of challenges as we move through life. Disagreements with friends, frustrations at school, even those days when nothing seems to go right. And it's easy, oh so easy, to point fingers and lay blame elsewhere—to say it’s because of someone else, something outside your control.
But here's the truth, the tough love: if there’s a common theme to the challenges you face, it’s worth looking in the mirror. That person staring back at you? They’re your most constant companion through life’s ups and downs. How you react, how you adapt, and how you grow in the face of adversity—that’s on you.
I've seen it in my own life. I've seen how my reactions to stress, my unwillingness to let go of old grudges, or my stubbornness could turn a molehill into a mountain. And believe me, learning to recognize my role in my own dramas was as tough for me as it might be for you.
It took me a while to realize what I was building. It took me a while to see that the mountains around me weren’t necessary and were of my own hands. I built them up where they did not belong and were never going to be, so I then had to destroy them.
Yet, as with many journeys, it served a purpose eventually. It allowed me to see what I wasn’t able to prior. It allowed me to learn. And it’s allowing me to try and help you see, too.
Though those were some annoying ass mountains.
But here’s where it gets better. Realizing that you are at the center of your own story means you get to write the next chapters. You're not a leaf blown about by the wind of circumstance; you are the author of your own destiny.
Think about it. If a problem persists, it’s an opportunity to ask, 'What can I do differently?' It’s a chance to grow. Because the most profound growth, the most powerful lessons come from looking inward and choosing to change the narrative.
And let's be clear: acknowledging that you're the common denominator in your problems does not mean it’s time to start beating the hell out of yourself for it. Self-flagellation is so last year. Instead, use the opportunity to start recognizing where your power lies. Take responsibility—not just for the messes but for cleaning them up and preventing future spills.
Develop awareness of your own actions and emotions. Step back in the heat of the moment and think, 'Is there another way to see this? Is there another way to handle this?' Start building the resilience to not get knocked down by the same hurdles again and again.
I want you to know that I believe in you, profoundly and unconditionally. Each of you has shown resilience and insight that amazes me daily. This lesson, this idea that we are each responsible for the paths we tread, it’s just one more tool for your toolbox. One more little nugget to help you navigate this complex world.
I’ll be here, always, to guide you, to support you, and to love you. But I also promise to challenge you, to encourage you to look deep and find the strength and wisdom I know each of you possesses.
Our journeys are intertwined, but your path is your own. Own it, learn from it, and remember, no matter what, you’re never alone in your struggles.
You have the power, the incredible opportunity, every day, to choose who you want to be. Each morning, the script of your life is in your hands, fresh and waiting for new words.
What will you write? What character will you become?
And remember, always remember, I am so proud of you—more than words can express. Let's keep learning together, shall we?
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Dad Explains – Navigating life’s twists and turns, one dad joke at a time. 🚗😄
“ The only consistent character in all your problems, in all your dramas, is you.”
“That’s a hard pill to swallow, isn’t it?”
Yup! I’ve been there and done that. This has been true for me in the past. I’ve become own worst enemy.
So true. We have agency in the external world and…we have agency in our inner psychic life. It is hard wired! https://homecookedanalysis.substack.com/p/victim-vs-psychic-agent