Dating is like playing a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, then someone makes a move, and suddenly the whole thing comes crashing down. But hey, at least it’s a fun way to learn about human psychology and the importance of communication. And, with a bit of luck, you can get laid!
Hey Dad…wish my real dad was still alive…so I guess you’ll do!!! NO I’m just kidding…this is awesome!! And my dad is still dead…BUT…all kidding aside, I just wanted to say about all the dating stuff…my father got remarried at 72, a few years after my mother died…I asked him one day about dating again at his age and after 40 years of marriage to my mom…he said dating was still the same nerve wracking event it’s always been…but at his age he said, you put everything on the table first date…he said, no time to screw around trying to find out this and that…he was too old for that crap…and he said he wished he would have saved time in his youth doing that same thing…just put it all on the table, first date!!! Even at 72 he said he was turning down “hussys” and “fast woman” and was glad he didn’t waste time trying to politely figure it out himself!!! Found a wonderful woman to be his bride, because SHE was willing to wait for marriage to have sex…still blows my mind, that they even thought about sex at that age…🤣🤣🤣
Deepest sigh ever...of Wendy's deep sigh collection...
Andrew, you even tiptoe-ing into the fray of "dating" is brave. From my point of view as not only an Elder but from a survivor of the DISASTER of the sexual revolution of my youth (I was born 1952), we have become DRENCHED in sex. From my direct youthful experiences in jumping into bed with far too many men and quickly, no real "dating", this was not a wise plan of action. God's ways are better...and there is a reason He encourages waiting. After all, He being the Creator, perhaps He actually knows things about humans! Quick sex does no good and for me, certainly did not cement anything but STD's, two unplanned pregancies that ended in abortion in 1973, and a broken heart so often, I am blessed to even be alive. The quick sex I had was AWFUL almost every single time, no relaxing release, just parts on each other and then out the door. Sex is a good thing, when honored for a holy function, which, no matter how we rebel and push back, is for first of all, the reproduce the human race. Just as lungs are "respiratory organs" and just as stomach and intestines are "organs of digestion", sexual organs are "organs of reproduction." Yes, the fellowship and relationship between husband and wife is needed in sexuality as well, not just for babies! While I do believe not every person is cut out to be a parent (I was not!), I think we disrespect this function so much. I am not against contraception or sterilization. I advocate for slowing down and considering the other person in front of us, not just to "get laid" but as a person of value. This is a HUGE undertaking and I do not say any of this lightly but from a very wounded survivor of all this MESS. You are a wise man, Andrew and I humbly appreciate your valiant effort in all this fray. Please take care and take NOTHING onto your soul, OK? W.E. W.
Although I'm not in the dating pool, I am in the human-ing pool. And one thing I know is that desperation pushes things away.
It doesn't matter what it is, if you're needy, you won't get it as easy. Dates, jobs, a raise, a kidney. Whoever is the most needy is at the end of the list.
To buckle and have sex sooner than you personally feel you should, because you are afraid of missing out and losing the person? NEEDY. Desperate. Lacking.
Being self-assured and able to set boundaries and communicate expectations? Self assured, confident, sexy.
My wife had me wait two years, and we weren't even in church at the time, to be sure I was a good man. We were dating for marriage, not just a relationship. The other girls in my past I didn't have the marriage goal in mind.
You have all those feel-good, bonding hormones that will mess a girl up more than a guy to make things really complicated.
That was great Vance…and it was worth waiting for too I’m sure!!!
I like what you said about the bonding hormones…never thought about that before…you are completely correct…and that certainly explains things for me..lol
Although I am only able to see this issue through a Christian lens, I found value in your discussion of it.
Anytime someone can get me to think hard about something important, I am grateful to them.
The thought I had which interests me the most is as follows: I wonder how many people ended up divorcing after not having had sex with anyone at all until they were married.
This is not meant to be a question for you to answer unless you are going to actually do a survey.
But I think that would be a difficult survey to do as a result of pagan culture infecting everything.
As opposed to how many divorced after sleeping with a lot of people? I think that research has been done, and the more people you sleep with, the more likely you are to divorce.
Your questioner here seems to get the cart before the horse. They seem to say, "Here are my parameters, how should I date?" I would turn that on its head... and question the parameters. And the dating.
Should I date? Should I be open to sex before marriage? Those are the first questions to ask, not the 'given' to walk in with.
No, you shouldn't date and no, you shouldn't have sex before marriage and yes, you should get married.
Dating is like playing a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, then someone makes a move, and suddenly the whole thing comes crashing down. But hey, at least it’s a fun way to learn about human psychology and the importance of communication. And, with a bit of luck, you can get laid!
Yes!
Do what you can to keep from knocking it down.
Celebrate those times when you weren't the source of your own destruction.
Pick up the pieces and play again.
Take the good, leave the bad behind.
Usually much easier said than done.
It also makes for one hell of a cut-throat Jenga.
You're right though. I used to leave the good and take the bad.
Granted, I have never denied being stubborn.
Although I have no prospects, I do believe, like you, that good men exist in reality in larger quantities than we feel they do.
Hey Dad…wish my real dad was still alive…so I guess you’ll do!!! NO I’m just kidding…this is awesome!! And my dad is still dead…BUT…all kidding aside, I just wanted to say about all the dating stuff…my father got remarried at 72, a few years after my mother died…I asked him one day about dating again at his age and after 40 years of marriage to my mom…he said dating was still the same nerve wracking event it’s always been…but at his age he said, you put everything on the table first date…he said, no time to screw around trying to find out this and that…he was too old for that crap…and he said he wished he would have saved time in his youth doing that same thing…just put it all on the table, first date!!! Even at 72 he said he was turning down “hussys” and “fast woman” and was glad he didn’t waste time trying to politely figure it out himself!!! Found a wonderful woman to be his bride, because SHE was willing to wait for marriage to have sex…still blows my mind, that they even thought about sex at that age…🤣🤣🤣
So…Hey Dad…GREAT ADVICE!!!
Wonderful!
And wonderful Dad story!
Deepest sigh ever...of Wendy's deep sigh collection...
Andrew, you even tiptoe-ing into the fray of "dating" is brave. From my point of view as not only an Elder but from a survivor of the DISASTER of the sexual revolution of my youth (I was born 1952), we have become DRENCHED in sex. From my direct youthful experiences in jumping into bed with far too many men and quickly, no real "dating", this was not a wise plan of action. God's ways are better...and there is a reason He encourages waiting. After all, He being the Creator, perhaps He actually knows things about humans! Quick sex does no good and for me, certainly did not cement anything but STD's, two unplanned pregancies that ended in abortion in 1973, and a broken heart so often, I am blessed to even be alive. The quick sex I had was AWFUL almost every single time, no relaxing release, just parts on each other and then out the door. Sex is a good thing, when honored for a holy function, which, no matter how we rebel and push back, is for first of all, the reproduce the human race. Just as lungs are "respiratory organs" and just as stomach and intestines are "organs of digestion", sexual organs are "organs of reproduction." Yes, the fellowship and relationship between husband and wife is needed in sexuality as well, not just for babies! While I do believe not every person is cut out to be a parent (I was not!), I think we disrespect this function so much. I am not against contraception or sterilization. I advocate for slowing down and considering the other person in front of us, not just to "get laid" but as a person of value. This is a HUGE undertaking and I do not say any of this lightly but from a very wounded survivor of all this MESS. You are a wise man, Andrew and I humbly appreciate your valiant effort in all this fray. Please take care and take NOTHING onto your soul, OK? W.E. W.
Although I'm not in the dating pool, I am in the human-ing pool. And one thing I know is that desperation pushes things away.
It doesn't matter what it is, if you're needy, you won't get it as easy. Dates, jobs, a raise, a kidney. Whoever is the most needy is at the end of the list.
To buckle and have sex sooner than you personally feel you should, because you are afraid of missing out and losing the person? NEEDY. Desperate. Lacking.
Being self-assured and able to set boundaries and communicate expectations? Self assured, confident, sexy.
My wife had me wait two years, and we weren't even in church at the time, to be sure I was a good man. We were dating for marriage, not just a relationship. The other girls in my past I didn't have the marriage goal in mind.
You have all those feel-good, bonding hormones that will mess a girl up more than a guy to make things really complicated.
That was great Vance…and it was worth waiting for too I’m sure!!!
I like what you said about the bonding hormones…never thought about that before…you are completely correct…and that certainly explains things for me..lol
Although I am only able to see this issue through a Christian lens, I found value in your discussion of it.
Anytime someone can get me to think hard about something important, I am grateful to them.
The thought I had which interests me the most is as follows: I wonder how many people ended up divorcing after not having had sex with anyone at all until they were married.
This is not meant to be a question for you to answer unless you are going to actually do a survey.
But I think that would be a difficult survey to do as a result of pagan culture infecting everything.
As opposed to how many divorced after sleeping with a lot of people? I think that research has been done, and the more people you sleep with, the more likely you are to divorce.
It all depends on what we want.. having sex or making love... the latter, in my opinion is earned ( trust )and not easy to come by...
Thanks Dad!!
So, a completely different perspective...
Your questioner here seems to get the cart before the horse. They seem to say, "Here are my parameters, how should I date?" I would turn that on its head... and question the parameters. And the dating.
Should I date? Should I be open to sex before marriage? Those are the first questions to ask, not the 'given' to walk in with.
No, you shouldn't date and no, you shouldn't have sex before marriage and yes, you should get married.