Dad's Driving Advice
Fix-A-Flat | Exit Madness | Protect Your Valuables | Sober or Cemetery | Hydroplane How-To | Rain Redux
Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery.
THIS IS A REPOST FROM JANUARY OF 2023.
IT’S STILL RELEVANT.
ESPECIALLY NOW THAT THE OLDEST IS DRIVING.
WHICH IS RUDE.
Dad's Driving Advice - Fix-A-Flat
If you get a flat you can not panic. Tell your brain to shut up and get you over to the shoulder. Do not go to the median, that can be a death trap. Do not stop in the middle of a busy road.
It's worth it to me to buy you a new wheel or a new car if it means you get to stay alive, kiddo.
I taught you how to change a tire. Do not allow panic and frustration to make you helpless. Helplessness is pointless and dangerous.
Get to a safe place and put on your hazards. That red triangle button that's impossible to find when you need it. PARKING BREAK too, please. If you're driving a manual keep it in gear not neutral. Grab your jack from the trunk. I checked for you before you left, it's there.
Grab that lug wrench and those wheel blocks I put in there for you too. Now under the mat (most likely) in the trunk is your spare. You remembered to keep that properly inflated, right?
Good. You got this kiddo, I'm proud of you. Place the wheel blocks tight behind the tires that are going to stay on the ground. If you have a hubcap or wheel cover take those off first. While the flat is still on the ground loosen those lug nuts. Yup, lefty loosey, good job.
Don't loosen them fully and remember that lug wrench is stronger than you, so put some weight on that thing. They're tight. Jack the car up, loosen and then remove the lug nuts in a star pattern like I taught you. Very good. You're almost done.
Okay now carefully remove that flat but be careful it's heavy. Yeah sweetie I know it's dirty but you're doing great. Put that tire on the ground on the side away from traffic. Now grab that spare and put it on and put on your lug nuts. Star pattern again, correct.
Don't tighten them all the way yet. Okay lower the jack and put it to the side then tighten the lug nuts as tight as you can. Replace your hubcap, grab your blocks, lug wrench, flat tire, jack and everything else and put them in the trunk.
Put the tire in last, please. It just makes more sense. Guess what? You did it! Remember to turn off those hazards and remove the parking break before leaving. Oh yeah, don't drive too fast. Most spares have a top speed.
Try and take it slow and probably max 30-40 MPH. Unless you're in my truck. That isn't a "donut" it's a real spare. It's a regular tire, drive normally and get that flat fixed. Guess what? Crisis averted. It took a few extra minutes but you're alive.
That's really all that matters here is you being alive and healthy. The car is FULLY SECONDARY. I can fix it, you can get it fixed, money will come with time if needed. But we cannot replace you. Even if we could we kinda like you best.
Dad's Driving Advice - Exit Madness
You will always get a second chance when driving unless you're dead. So if you miss your exit go to the next one. Take that off-ramp, get across the bridge and take the on-ramp back towards the exit you missed. Or navigate from that exit.
Don't swerve through traffic to make it on the first try. Don't slam on your breaks or stop. That will rob you and whomever you hit of any second chance. Your mother and I think you're pretty great, so don't rob us of you. Don't rob them of life. Missing an exit is a small issue.
Dad's Driving Advice - Protect Your Valuables
You are protecting your car but it isn't the most important thing. You may not be the most important thing either, though you are to me.
The most important things are the passengers in your vehicle and the ones around you. They are bystanders and innocent in most situations. Avoid being reckless. Protect your valuables. Drive safely.
Dad's Driving Advice - Sober or Cemetery
Sober or slammer is not worst case scenario. You no longer gracing my life with your presence and potentially robbing others of their own gift of life is. There are many possibilities here.
Pedestrians crossing the street. Pedestrians not crossing the street. Houses and garages. Other cars with responsible, sober drivers. I have been to too many of these scenes as they were fresh and they are nothing but carnage and suffering.
The lives ended those nights weren't the only ones. The other lives destroyed are going to get the call about whomever you hit.
Even if you get back home without getting arrested or killing someone it won't be a good night for you. Uber is an option. Lyft. A freaking yellow taxi, kid. Don't test me on this one.
I can forgive a lot. I can likely forgive this one if you get lucky. But it won't be quick and you may be missing some wheels on your car for a few months.
Weigh the consequences before taking action. Plan ahead before going out.
Losing a few bucks is worth not losing your life.
Paying a few dollars is worth not paying court and lawyer fees with bail.
Not going is worth not taking the life of someone innocent because you have no self control.
Do not make me identify a skid mark on the pavement and bury and empty casket. I beg of you. I plead with you with tears in my eyes and panic in my heart DO NOT DRIVE DRUNK.
I love you kiddo.
I need you here.
Dad's Driving Advice - Hydroplane How-To
Wow, look outside. It's raining cats and dogs. That's gross. But it is one hell of a downpour out right now. I should probably go over hydroplaning with you. The best advice I can give is not to panic. Panic is pointless here.
When driving in the rain it is important to keep both hands on the wheel. Avoid all distractions. Your main focus is the road and your car. Pay attention. You will feel it sliding occasionally.
That means you hit a smaller patch of water and your tires were lifted off the road some. That's okay, it's normal. That's hydroplaning.
What that means is you're going fast enough that when you hit those puddles, the water gets underneath them. The tires no longer have positive traction on the asphalt underneath.
It's likely your other tires are still good. Keep the same speed you had, keep your wheel pointed straight. Do not accelerate, do not slam on your breaks. In just a second they will touch down smoother than a 747 on the Hudson, you'll be fine. See? Great job.
An easy way to avoid most potential hydroplane issues is to stay in the middle of the road. They are generally designed to flow out to keep water from pooling there. If you can't, you can't.
That's also not a big deal. You'll be fine if you pay attention. Your radio isn't important. Your phone isn't important. I would rather you throw it out the window now than pick it up while driving in the rain. If you need me to I'll do it for you.
Dad's Driving Advice - Rain Redux
Hey kid, it's raining. It's wet. Be careful. It wouldn't be smart to treat this like any other day. It's not.
My truck kicks up a lot of water on those back roads but your tiny car won't handle that well. My truck is heavy, your tiny car will get thrown around. Drive slower and avoid obvious puddles.
If you see flowing water avoid it. Those are the ones you can't see the bottom of. If there is earth in the stream, meaning it's muddy, it is likely deeper than you think. Water is stronger than your car, you, and everything except God. Do not tempt fate or God in this case.
How is your visibility? I know I kept your wipers fresh while you were here but now that's your job. Most of them have simple hook connectors to make changing them easy.
Buy good ones, don't go cheap. And have you been cleaning that windshield with hydrophobic cleaners like Rain-X? I also put some of that in your wiper fluid so most of it should bead off. It helps a lot.
Seems like you're ready but one more thing. A sprinkle can be as dangerous as a downpour. Cars have lots of oil and other liquids that love to get all over these roads. A sprinkle will saturate all that and have it raise to the surface.
This makes them slick. More slick than normal. They will look safe and fine, but reduce your speeds. It's easier t get where you're going in a car than it would be in a casket. Speeding is dumb. It's reckless. You're not dumb. Don't be reckless.
And remember, we love you. Do what you can to be safe so I never have to know what it feels like to write ‘loved’.
Love,
Dad
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Amazing how well 'Don't Panic' works in so many situations, but is always necessary to say. Driving may be one of the biggest areas where you MUST state the obvious... Don't stop on a busy road. Slow down in the rain. Don't pull into a median. Seems obvious, but needs to always be said. Thanks, Andrew!
Excellent and practical advice. Mom’s are great for emotional advice, Dad’s are great for practical advice, generally speaking.