Unpolished
Perfect in the pursuit.
The man with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection.
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Unpolished
Perfection is a word that often feels as though it’s draped in a heavy cloak of expectations. It’s a glimmering ideal, floating somewhere on the horizon, a star that we’re always chasing but never quite reaching.
We’ve been taught, in subtle and overt ways, that perfection means being without flaw, that it is the smooth, unmarred surface of a mirror that reflects only the best version of ourselves. But, if I’m honest, I find myself wondering more and more if we’ve got it all wrong.
You see, I used to think that perfection was something to strive for, something to shape and mold ourselves into. I believed, like many do, that if I just tried a little harder, if I just fixed this or that flaw, I’d get closer to that perfect image I held in my mind. But life has a way of shaking those beliefs loose. It’s in the mess of everyday living that I’ve started to see things differently.
Life isn’t a smooth, unbroken line. It’s a series of starts and stops, of missteps and detours. It’s the shadows that fall across our path, the cracks that form when we least expect them.
And those cracks, those imperfections, are where life truly happens. They’re the spaces where growth begins, where we learn the most about who we are and what we’re capable of.
When I think about trying to explain this to you, my children, I realize it’s a concept that’s as difficult to grasp as it is essential to understand. You’re going to grow up in a world that will constantly tell you to strive for perfection, to measure your worth by how close you get to that flawless ideal. But I want you to know that there’s a different kind of perfection, one that’s far more meaningful and within reach.
Imagine, for a moment, that you’re offered a treasure—a sum of ten million gold coins—but in exchange, you must trade away a fragment of your life. Would you do it? At first, it might seem like an easy decision. Who wouldn’t want such wealth?
But then, you might hesitate. You’d wonder what you’d lose in the bargain, what memories, what moments, what pieces of yourself you’d have to give up. And that hesitation, that tender pause, is where the truth lies.
It’s not in the glittering promise of wealth or the illusion of perfection but in the value you place on what you already have, on the life you’re living, imperfect as it may be.
It’s in those small moments—the laugh of a child, the warmth of a hand held in yours, the quiet chaos of a family dinner—that real perfection resides. Not in the absence of flaws but in the presence of love, connection, and the beauty of simply being.
Perfection, as I see it now, isn’t a distant star to be chased. It’s not in the polished surface that reflects only what we want to see. Instead, it’s in the dance of the flawed, the scars we bear, the love we fight for. It’s in the nights of doubt and the mornings of grace, in the breath we take in this holy space we call life.
As your father, I’ve made my share of mistakes. There have been times when I’ve been grumpy, when I’ve checked out, when I’ve lashed out at those I care about most. And in those moments, I’ve felt far from perfect.
But it’s in the aftermath of those mistakes, in the apologies, the hugs, the getting back up after I’ve fallen, that I’ve come to understand something important. Perfection isn’t in getting everything right. It’s in the willingness to keep going, to keep trying, to keep loving, even when it’s hard.
There’s a quote I often think about: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” It’s easy to hold onto our mistakes, to let them weigh us down, to convince ourselves that we’re not good enough because we’ve fallen short. But forgiveness—of ourselves, of others—is a powerful thing. It’s what allows us to move forward, to grow, to become more than we were before.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about self-forgiveness, and it’s something I want you to understand as well. It’s not about excusing your mistakes or pretending they didn’t happen.
It’s about recognizing that those mistakes are part of your journey, part of what makes you who you are. It’s about letting go of the idea that you need to be perfect in the way the world defines it and embracing the idea that you’re perfect in your own way, right here and now.
I’m not saying this is easy. There are days when I still struggle with it, when I look back on the things I’ve done or said and feel that old familiar pang of regret. But I’ve learned, slowly but surely, that dwelling on those moments doesn’t help.
What helps is moving forward, taking responsibility, and trying to do better the next time. What helps is focusing on the love and the life that’s still in front of me, not on the mistakes that are behind me.
As I sit here writing this, I’m thinking about all the things I want you to know, all the lessons I want to pass on to you. But if there’s one thing that stands out, one thing I want you to hold onto, it’s this: You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be you. And that, in itself, is a kind of perfection.
You’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to hurt others, and you’re going to hurt yourself. But you’re also going to grow from those experiences. You’re going to learn, to love, to become more than you were. And in that process, you’ll find your own version of perfection, one that’s built on the foundation of your imperfections.
I want you to know that no matter what, I’m proud of you. I’m proud of the way you’ve grown, the way you’ve picked yourself up after falling, the way you’ve kept going even when things were tough. You’ve developed your own personalities, your own interests, your own way of seeing the world. And that’s something to celebrate.
So, when you find yourself questioning whether you’re good enough, whether you measure up, whether you’re perfect, remember this: You are. Not because you’re flawless, but because you’re real, because you’re here, because you’re living your life with all its messiness and beauty.
And don’t be afraid to change. That’s part of it too. Perfection isn’t about staying the same, about locking yourself into a mold. It’s about growing, evolving, becoming. It’s about embracing the changes that come with time and experience, and finding the perfection in the process, not in the outcome.
Life isn’t about chasing an impossible ideal. It’s about finding the joy, the love, the meaning in the here and now. It’s about recognizing that perfection is already within you, in the way you love, the way you care, the way you live your life.
So, go out there and be imperfect. Make your mistakes, learn from them, forgive yourself, and keep going. That’s where you’ll find the perfection that really matters. And know that no matter what, I’m here, cheering you on, proud of the person you are and the person you’re becoming.
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Beautiful!!
👏👏👏
Thank you!!!