You are blessed indeed to have so many wonderful women in your life. Sadly my mother was not loving, supportive or wise but physically and emotionally abusive, manipulative and selfish. But happily I know many other wonderful women, both mothers and not, who give unconditional love.
I'm sorry to hear about your experiences with your mother.
It wasn't until I was grown that I was introduced into a world where mothers weren't like mine. It was a shock, and this isn't to rub it in.
That left me reeling and was the impetus for me to start exploring how families can be so different but wonderful people can come from either scenario.
The anecdotal example that comes to mind, which is the same one that introduced me to that alternate reality, happened to be one of the most wonderful people I have ever met. Yet they came from an incredibly abusive, difficult, and traumatic home.
But that seems to indicate you're strong too. If you can even RESEMBLE normalcy coming from an environment like that.
Much like the women in this piece.
I know a few of them came from much the same place you did.
Parents are generally wonderful. And scarred. And scared. And flawed. And tired. And determined to get back up and carry on for our kids as best we can. Which will never be perfect but, we hope, will be good enough.
This is what I tell young fellas that are going to be fathers when they're worried they'll mess things up.
Well, my man, you will.
And more than once.
But you can be a perfect parent, all it takes is identifying the mistakes you may make and attempt, earnestly attempt, to rectify or avoid making them again.
It all depends on how you define perfection in relation to being a parent I suppose. Admitting your falibility and growing alongside your child are definately the ideal.
Thankfully I can say that despite all of it, I’ve come to understand that what this human experience is all about is love. I’m fascinated by nature/nurture too and am writing a novella about it looking at two sisters.
You are blessed indeed to have so many wonderful women in your life. Sadly my mother was not loving, supportive or wise but physically and emotionally abusive, manipulative and selfish. But happily I know many other wonderful women, both mothers and not, who give unconditional love.
I'm sorry to hear about your experiences with your mother.
It wasn't until I was grown that I was introduced into a world where mothers weren't like mine. It was a shock, and this isn't to rub it in.
That left me reeling and was the impetus for me to start exploring how families can be so different but wonderful people can come from either scenario.
The anecdotal example that comes to mind, which is the same one that introduced me to that alternate reality, happened to be one of the most wonderful people I have ever met. Yet they came from an incredibly abusive, difficult, and traumatic home.
But that seems to indicate you're strong too. If you can even RESEMBLE normalcy coming from an environment like that.
Much like the women in this piece.
I know a few of them came from much the same place you did.
Thank you for breaking that cycle.
Motherhood is magic! Great reflections...
https://joelelorentzen.substack.com/p/motherhood
Parents are generally wonderful. And scarred. And scared. And flawed. And tired. And determined to get back up and carry on for our kids as best we can. Which will never be perfect but, we hope, will be good enough.
This is what I tell young fellas that are going to be fathers when they're worried they'll mess things up.
Well, my man, you will.
And more than once.
But you can be a perfect parent, all it takes is identifying the mistakes you may make and attempt, earnestly attempt, to rectify or avoid making them again.
It all depends on how you define perfection in relation to being a parent I suppose. Admitting your falibility and growing alongside your child are definately the ideal.
Thankfully I can say that despite all of it, I’ve come to understand that what this human experience is all about is love. I’m fascinated by nature/nurture too and am writing a novella about it looking at two sisters.