Incredibly powerful post and thank you for this. I feel like this message needs to be blared on a loudspeaker that real love and a incredibly important task for mothers and parents in general is to understand that though the child is their child it is not “their” child — meaning they need to understand that it has its own calling and free will and they need to know when to back off.
I have seen incredible damage be done when this is not the case and I think that’s a big reason why we have so many adult children who have no idea who they are or how to handle life. I realize it is not an easy thing because mothers know What the world is like, but sometimes love is standing back and out of the way. If that makes any sense.
I was blessed with a grandmother, mother, and wife that were and are the bedrock of my home and my life. Quietly organising every facet of my family’s life, past and present. Things that this fool would simply overlook. Right down to dusting in places my eyes would not see.
I do try. Really, I do.
They are cut from a different, sturdy beyond measure, cloth.
I’ll always have an excuse as to why I’m not going, which will be anticipated, and then check mated before I know what’s happening, and I’m at that dentist, doctor, or whatever.
Anything medical I’ll try and dodge. Anything sports related, I’m there early.
Jul 18·edited Jul 18Liked by Andrew | Dad Explains
The topic of a mothers sacrifice is constantly contentious. But I think it may be misrepresented and viewed through lenses of time and material comfort. But that is often based on competition with either other mothers or "society," or is a product of, as you mention, the anxiety that accompanies the ever expanding lack of control as children age. Excusing a freak accident or severe illness as babies we literally carry them around and can offer them instant comfort. As they age that becomes both more difficult and not what they need and that can become a prideful struggle. We also all have to "sacrifice" our indulgences i.e. constantly telling our daughter she is beautiful while continuing to hate our own bodies. Or allowing our anger at a man's disrespectful behavior to influence the way we regard our son (this is running rampant and is so sad). My husband is a champion of the unique strengths or women as well and I so enjoyed reading this article.
Very beautiful! Growing up I felt totally invulnerable whenever my parents were around. At 5 1/2 I saw my sister be born ( unplanned) at home I could not believe the blood and gore!!! I thought my Mom was dying in front of me but my Dad was calm and took my right hand and my took my left hand and they it’s okay your little brother or sister is coming into the world Mommy is ok. And sure enough when Daddy cleaned her up she was a girl! I contrasted that expected other day with one where my Dad was not home and my Mother answered the phone and started crying because she had gotten news that RFK was assassinated. I thought the world was going to end and no one took my hand to say everything was alright. It makes a huge difference if our Father is there. That’s what made the difference for the Virgin Mary. And I would think for most of the strong women in the world there is an acknowledgment of a greater strength that they can lean on. This is true for men too, human strength only goes so far give your women what they really need.
This is a beautiful tribute to the Archetypal mother and the mothers who embody these characteristics. I love the timing as I'm close to completing my piece on father archetypes and our relationship to them.
Incredibly powerful post and thank you for this. I feel like this message needs to be blared on a loudspeaker that real love and a incredibly important task for mothers and parents in general is to understand that though the child is their child it is not “their” child — meaning they need to understand that it has its own calling and free will and they need to know when to back off.
I have seen incredible damage be done when this is not the case and I think that’s a big reason why we have so many adult children who have no idea who they are or how to handle life. I realize it is not an easy thing because mothers know What the world is like, but sometimes love is standing back and out of the way. If that makes any sense.
Anyway, this was really great, thank you.🙏
I believe you are correct.
The potential to slip into the role of Oedipal Mother is great if letting go is not on the table.
And it is ruinous.
‘Man, women are the best though, are they not?..
Indescribably so.
I was blessed with a grandmother, mother, and wife that were and are the bedrock of my home and my life. Quietly organising every facet of my family’s life, past and present. Things that this fool would simply overlook. Right down to dusting in places my eyes would not see.
I do try. Really, I do.
They are cut from a different, sturdy beyond measure, cloth.
A source of wonder to me.
Always. God bless mothers everywhere.
Yes! Wonderful point!
I would never make an appointment without the wife.
Nor me. And then actuality turn up for the bloody things!
Actually *
I’ll always have an excuse as to why I’m not going, which will be anticipated, and then check mated before I know what’s happening, and I’m at that dentist, doctor, or whatever.
Anything medical I’ll try and dodge. Anything sports related, I’m there early.
This is so beautiful. Thank you. *bows.
Salute to all the mamas out there. We wouldn't be here without them.
The topic of a mothers sacrifice is constantly contentious. But I think it may be misrepresented and viewed through lenses of time and material comfort. But that is often based on competition with either other mothers or "society," or is a product of, as you mention, the anxiety that accompanies the ever expanding lack of control as children age. Excusing a freak accident or severe illness as babies we literally carry them around and can offer them instant comfort. As they age that becomes both more difficult and not what they need and that can become a prideful struggle. We also all have to "sacrifice" our indulgences i.e. constantly telling our daughter she is beautiful while continuing to hate our own bodies. Or allowing our anger at a man's disrespectful behavior to influence the way we regard our son (this is running rampant and is so sad). My husband is a champion of the unique strengths or women as well and I so enjoyed reading this article.
Very beautiful! Growing up I felt totally invulnerable whenever my parents were around. At 5 1/2 I saw my sister be born ( unplanned) at home I could not believe the blood and gore!!! I thought my Mom was dying in front of me but my Dad was calm and took my right hand and my took my left hand and they it’s okay your little brother or sister is coming into the world Mommy is ok. And sure enough when Daddy cleaned her up she was a girl! I contrasted that expected other day with one where my Dad was not home and my Mother answered the phone and started crying because she had gotten news that RFK was assassinated. I thought the world was going to end and no one took my hand to say everything was alright. It makes a huge difference if our Father is there. That’s what made the difference for the Virgin Mary. And I would think for most of the strong women in the world there is an acknowledgment of a greater strength that they can lean on. This is true for men too, human strength only goes so far give your women what they really need.
This is a beautiful tribute to the Archetypal mother and the mothers who embody these characteristics. I love the timing as I'm close to completing my piece on father archetypes and our relationship to them.
My thanks!
Yes. I forgot to mention this.
Excellent writing, A.
🙏✍️
Thank you!