Stop Hurting, Love You

Because you love them you should love you.

Love is all, it gives all, and it takes all.

Soren Kierkegaard

Stop Hurting, Love You

Prepare for some circular logic. It isn’t truly circular, it just has the appearance of BEING circular. So bear with me, as always, and I will take you where we need to go.

I don’t want to hurt you, so I’m going to stop hurting me.

The realization hit me like a bolt of lightning one ordinary afternoon. I was lost in my own thoughts, grappling with the weight of my actions and their consequences.

It was then I saw your face, filled with concern and love. You, who have stood by me through thick and thin, deserve so much more than the fragmented version of myself I’ve been presenting.

Yes, Wife, this one began with you. This is what YOU taught me. This is what you GAVE me. So, thank you.

You allowed me to give it to my children. Or, perhaps, allowed me to continue this understanding and apply it with my children. And you know how I feel about them. They’re pretty cool. Dope, even.

You love me, and I love you. This love is my anchor, the beacon guiding me through the murky waters of self-doubt and despair. It’s clear now that my self-destructive tendencies do not just inflict pain upon me—they cast shadows over your joy and peace. How can I claim to love you if I continue to harm myself? It’s a contradiction that no longer makes sense.

This became apparent, glaringly so, one sunny day I had not yet observed. As I lay on my couch, my daughter — so young and full of energy — was itching to play, to run around, to do anything. You came over.

And you played.

With her.

And you showed me how to be. You showed me what was missing and what needed to happen.

And I realized that I needed to reciprocate. I needed to be better. I needed to fix the problems I had, the demons in me, and stop hurting myself so I could love better.

So that I could love HER better.

And so I could love YOU better.

All this happened years ago, to be sure. I should be done now, right? Only, it’s not that easy. Life isn’t that easy. Nothing is that easy.

Nothing worthwhile. But you’re worthwhile. So I keep going. Forever.

This is a journey that has no end. That makes it exciting.

But it’s also scary. I must have a plan to ensure those habits do not return. As much as I would love to write “cannot” instead of “do not”, it wouldn’t be true.

There’s the trick. That’s the “hack”, as they say. Remembering that reverting is possible, even likely if I ever forget I am fallible as a man, as a husband, and as a father.

So, a plan is in place.

Stopping these habits is not merely an act of self-preservation; it’s a testament to my love for you. I want to show you that I love you, truly and deeply. And to do that, I must stop hurting me.

Each time I consider falling back into old patterns, I will remember your face, your smile, and the way your eyes light up when you’re happy. I will recall the times you’ve comforted me, the sacrifices you’ve made, and the unwavering support you’ve shown. Your love is my incentive, my driving force to choose a healthier path.

I will begin by seeking the help I need, whether it’s through therapy, support groups, or confiding in trusted friends. I will replace harmful habits with positive ones, finding solace in activities that uplift rather than destroy.

Exercise, meditation, creative pursuits—these will become my new companions, tools to build a life where I am whole and present.

Forgiveness will play a crucial role in this journey. I will forgive myself for past mistakes and learn to move forward without the burden of guilt weighing me down.

This forgiveness is not just for my sake but for yours as well. By letting go of self-blame, I can be a better partner, friend, and companion to you.

Accountability is another pillar I will lean on. I will be honest with you about my struggles, inviting you into my journey towards healing. Your presence will serve as a reminder of why this change is necessary.

Together, we will celebrate the victories, no matter how small, and face the setbacks with resilience and determination.

Self-destruction ends today. I am making a pledge to you and to myself. I will nurture my well-being, knowing that by doing so, I am also nurturing our relationship.

This path won’t be easy, and there will be days when the old habits beckon. But your love will be my shield, protecting me from falling back into darkness.

This decision is more than just a promise to myself—it’s a commitment to you. You deserve the best version of me, one who is whole, healthy, and capable of giving and receiving love without the shadows of self-harm.

Together, we will build a future where our love is a source of strength and joy, untainted by the pain of my past behaviors.

With every step forward, I will remind myself that stopping self-destruction is not just an act of self-love; it’s a profound expression of my love for you.

For your sake, for my sake, and for the sake of the beautiful life we are building together, I will stop hurting myself. Because loving you means loving me, and I’m finally ready to embrace that truth.

---

---

Found value in these words? Want to dive deeper into the raw, unfiltered truths of life as seen through a father's eyes?

🌟 Join the "Dad Explains" family today! Don’t Forget to share!🌟

Subscribe for free to get full access to our heartfelt, gritty, and honest explorations of life's ups and downs. Every subscription, free or paid, is a cherished support in our journey. For those who choose to contribute, know that your paid subscriptions play a vital role in keeping the quality high, helping cover costs for essential tools like Adobe and other editing software.

But more than that, your support keeps the spirit of "Dad Explains" alive and thriving, ensuring that every story, every lesson, and every piece of dad wisdom reaches you in its most authentic and polished form.

Got questions or thoughts to share? Feel free to drop a comment below or send me an email at dad@dadexplains.life. Your insights, stories, and questions are what make this community a rich tapestry of shared experiences and wisdom. Let's keep the conversation going!

Subscribe today and be a part of a community where every voice matters, every story counts, and every fatherly piece of advice is a step towards understanding the complexities of life.

---

Your support is the secret sauce in our family recipe – it's what keeps our kitchen cooking up wisdom and wackiness in equal measure.

Dad Explains – Navigating life’s twists and turns, one dad joke at a time. 🚗😄

---