Please, Don't Doubt Yourself
Set that bar high and keep it there. Don't let anyone lower it, even when you feel it's insurmountable.
If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.
A Father's Plea Against Settling for Less
Life is tough and it’s easy to fall into a routine of assumed ease. This is impossible. Life isn’t easy. There are things you can do, actions you can take that make is simpler, but ease tends to come back and bite you in the ass after a while. Make sure you face challenges and do not allow anyone – not even yourself – to set the bar too low.
Here's the thing: life is tough, full of tests and trials, but it's also fair in its own quirky way. Every challenge, every test you face, is an opportunity to prove to the world and to yourself what you're capable of. But what happens when someone, maybe even with good intentions, decides to lower the bar for you, to make things 'easier'? I'll tell you what – it's an insult, a subtle one, but an insult nonetheless.
When someone lets you pass a test you didn't truly pass on your own, what are they really saying? Are they suggesting that you can't meet the standard? That you need a shortcut or a backdoor to succeed? I refuse to accept that. And you should too.
You're capable of so much more than you or anyone else might give you credit for. Every time you overcome a challenge on your own, you're not just passing a test; you're building yourself. You're stacking up those little bricks of confidence, skill, and resilience. You’re crafting a masterpiece, one brushstroke at a time, and no true artist ever wants to be told they needed help sketching their vision.
You will need help from time to time, but that’s not what I’m talking about. We depend on community, but that community must be strong. If the individual members of that community are all skipping steps, omitting a skill or knowledge check, or taking shortcuts, that weakens the totality. That inhibits the growth of the individual and thus the body as a whole. Think the weak link in a chain.
There might be times when it feels overwhelming, when you think that maybe taking the easier route isn't such a bad idea. But trust me, the sweetest victories, the ones you'll cherish the most, come from climbing the steepest hills. They come from facing the storm head-on, not from finding a cozy cave to wait it out.
I'm not saying this because I want to see you struggle. Far from it. I'm saying this because I believe in you. I've seen the fire in your eyes, the determination in your heart. I know you can meet and exceed any expectation set before you, but more importantly, you need to know it too.
So, the next time someone tries to lower the bar for you, politely decline. Embrace the challenge, embrace the grind, because every drop of sweat, every moment of frustration, is forging you into the person you are destined to become.
I'm here for you, always in your corner, cheering you on. Not because I don't think you can handle the pressure, but because I know you can, and you will.
You carry, always, my unwavering love and belief in you.
Don’t ever forget that.
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Lowering the bar can be inadvertent. One day my oldest child, 15 or 16 at that time, called me with a problem. I told him that I never wanted him to call me with a problem again, but that he could call me anytime he had at least two solutions and needed advice. The next time he called with a problem I hung up on him. He called be back in about an hour with some solutions. I ended up giving him a different idea to try. About 7 years later he asked if I remember that day. I told him I did and he thanked me. He stated that was one of greatest lessons he learned and had gained confidence in himself by learning to think before asking for help. Most people are completely unaware of their own capabilities.
Effort is everything. The world looks at the scoreboard, God looks at how we played the game.
I was reminded of a quote I saw on the wonderful world of the internet. It went something like this “set your bar high so that even if you fail you fail above everyone else’s success”