"No Bad Days" Isn't Real and Core Belief Worksheet: Short and Grim
Maybe today wasn't the day to do this one.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
The Dramatic Build Up
So the previous writing was on core beliefs and what led up to this worksheet. I paraphrased a portion of it to work on and understand. Below I am going to post what I put as the answer.
To be frank, today may not be the best day to have finished this. The answers are short and bleak as I am not in the best headspace at present.
But that’s part of life, isn’t it?
I have seen a few things recently that aren’t particularly alarming. That should be good news, and it is to an extent, but these things do throw up red flags for me.
I worry about how my kids interpret what they see or what they read. I think that’s reasonable, of course. You should probably care about that to an extent if you’re a parent. Something I’ve seen on the social medias and bumper stickers here recently, though, makes me think there’s another push to create an ideal. To create something unattainable and unrealistic.
“No bad days.”
It’s an odd thing to raise a red flag for, but it’s there. What is that? No bad days?
That seems nice, but if there are no bad days, how will you know what a good day is? How will you know that you’re living a blessed life if you’ve never had a bad day?
But it’s not just that. Imagine thinking that you SHOULDN’T have a bad day? Imagine thinking that something may be WRONG if you have a bad day.
Kids, bad days happen! They’re normal. They’re okay.
Pull those shoulders back, chin up, hold your head high, and push through it. You WILL make it to tomorrow. And when you do, it might be bad too. You will have bad weeks and months at times. Bad years, even. But by God you will have good days too. And they will be all the sweeter for it, for having bad ones.
Embrace the bad as you expect the good. Live your life without these expectations that everything should be sunshine and rainbows.
Life is about rain and sunshine, peaks and valleys, ups and downs as the metaphors go. It’s a ride, so put your hands up and LET GO.
So that you can actually start to live. So that your impossible expectations don’t derail your ability to express and FEEL gratitude. Gratitude for your existence in the first place.
And with that being said, now for the grumpy answers to the worksheet.
Worksheet Time
Below is the worksheet AS IS and without the wording changed, as I did last time. This is from the “BetterHelp” website, they have these worksheets.
Core Beliefs: Examining the Evidence
Core beliefs are a person's most central ideas about themselves, others, and the world. These beliefs act like a lens through which every situation and life experience is seen.
As a person has new experiences, their core beliefs may gradually change. However, some experiences have a greater impact than others. Information that supports a core belief is easily integrated, making the belief stronger. Information that does not support a belief tends to be ignored.
Core Belief
I am unable to progress past this point.
Information that supports my core belief.
Accepted (Information I integrated into my core belief.)
I haven't done much in the last few months.
There isn't anything tangible to show and I am unable to pull the trigger on things that may progress me forward.
I distract myself with things that don't matter because I cannot move forward.
Information that does not support my core belief.
Rejected (Information I did not integrate into my core belief.)
I have over 100 subscribers to my substack, and writing is what helps me think and feel.
I have grown a great deal since starting this last iteration of therapy.
I have a clearer vision of my future, though tenuous and blurry at times.
Modified (Information I modified before integrating into my core belief.)
I have subscribers but it doesn't matter, it's just the internet.
I haven't made money because I don't have value.
People tell me they like my writing but that's what they're supposed to do in polite society.
Just reading back through that makes me want to vomit.
Which, a side note, my 4 year old knows how to spell now. I thought that was funny.
But what is that core belief? I mean, is that really a core belief?
It doesn’t seem like it to me, but it is something that has stuck with me for months now. It may even be years, so I guess it has to be.
But what’s the solution here?
I’ll let y’all know when I find it.
Regards,
Grumpy Dad
I took some courses on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) on Udemy. I have watched people go through the questioning of beliefs, have done it myself, and encourage others to also. I think it can be extremely helpful. People hold many incorrect beliefs that are harmful. Too few are willing to question them. I have only read a few of your articles, but found them interesting.
I really enjoyed the Easter one where you thought about your fears impacting your child by you not being in the present with them. I thought about how I feel as if I need to re-parent myself at times, and sometimes I'm the one catastrophizing and not just being in the present with myself.
When you write online, and others read, it also affects every single person they talk with, those are the ripples of the Butterfly effect happening. Have a good week.
Turn Grumpy into grateful. It helps every time! Have a good day!