Keep Going, Maybe Your Life Is Waiting On The Other Side
The other side of what? Who knows, but keep checking.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
A Journey Through The Depths
In the depths of my darker states, I often find myself lost in a realm of shadows and despair. I stumble down roads I never intended to travel, falling into wells of darkness, grappling with nihilistic thoughts that scream of a future devoid of meaning, both for myself and my children.
Yet, in the midst of this turmoil, I continue to live by the routines of life. Hunger drives me to eat, responsibilities lead me to work, the need for movement fills my truck with gas. I check notifications, write, speak, and interact with others as if they truly matter—as if they, as humans, are deserving and filled with potential. Even though my heart feels encased in ice, distant and sometimes harsh to those I love, I can't shake off the feeling that, indeed, something matters.
In my clearer moments, I recognize the significance of my actions. If nothing mattered, I wouldn't smile at strangers, thank them, or treat them kindly. I wouldn't play with my son, let him know he’s a good boy, or tell my wife I love her with a tender kiss. If I truly believed in the void of meaning, I wouldn't gaze into my children's faces and see the divine, the very embodiment of love and God's gifts.
I understand that pain, too, is a testament to life's significance. The very act of flinching away from discomfort, of striving to escape pain, is perhaps the purest indication that something, indeed, matters. It's not the most profound realization, but it is swift and convincing—a quick reminder of the value of existence.
I muse that avoiding pain is, in itself, meaningful. I begin to see that there is goodness in the world, and it is worthwhile to exist and act with benevolence. By striving to embody the goodness I wish to see, I realize that I can manifest and witness that goodness in the world. It's a matter of effort, of daring to be the beacon of light in a world often shrouded in darkness.
This epiphany, I believe, is the secret to overcoming nihilism. It's not about ensuring that only good things happen to me, but about being the agent of goodness, of being able to perceive the beauty and positivity that already exists. It's about choosing to be the light, and in doing so, illuminating my path and revealing the beauty that was always there, just waiting to be seen.
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