Imperfect Is Perfection
Not being perfect sounds great.
Imperfect
I get upset. Sometimes, I get angry. I become unhappy and stay that way for a bit. I'll feel anxious, agitated, stressed, grumpy, disappointed, sad, hurt, and depressed. I'll fuss over things I shouldn't, things that don't matter. But I don't think that's excusable. I'm not necessarily right to feel or express all these emotions, especially the grumpiness, irritability, and agitation.
I'm sorry for that. When it happens, I hope you can forgive me. I am human, and I expect you to experience these emotions as well. It's natural for you to feel irritable, grumpy, angry, irrational, sad, and depressed sometimes. We live together, and in the multitude of moments we share, experiencing the full range of emotions is inevitable.
Think about how well you know an acquaintance you don't see often. You’ve likely seen the full range of emotions on their face at least once. Now, consider how much more time you spend with me, witnessing all my emotions.
Expecting any person to never feel these emotions is unrealistic. There is no perfect person on this earth. Yet, in my eyes, if I had to choose the closest to perfect, it would be you, though I admit my bias.
The thought reminds me of a line from a John Legend song, "All your perfect imperfections." I don't necessarily see these as imperfections, especially not in you. What are traditionally seen as flaws, I can’t view as such in you.
Only a few in history have come as close to perfection as possible, raising the question of what perfection truly is. Perhaps we're looking at it wrong. Perfection might not be the absence of flaws but the grace, empathy, humility, understanding, and love with which one carries their flaws. To live in spite of them and the world's flaws, to keep going despite the endless suffering around us, might be the true measure of perfection.
The perfect person might be someone like you, who feels pain and struggles yet perseveres for the love of their family, refusing to let them down. Despite the wounds and scars from past malevolence, you see the world for what it is and continue living. This resilience, despite physical and emotional pain, might be what true perfection is.
And so, my dear, I will get angry and upset sometimes. I might become grumpy, know it's not about you. I have my own issues from before we met, from my past life. The coldness and shadows on my face are not reflections of you but reminders to myself of what I’ve come through before and that I can do it again.
To be calm, confident, and understanding. To trust, despite knowing what broken trust can do, because the strength is there to survive that collapse. I see those same shadows on your face, and I know your strength.
That is perfection to me, and I love you.
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