Hinting At Disaster
Or, how hinting when you should be telling leads to that disaster.
Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another, only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.
I Don’t Pick Up Hints
Probably Not By Choice
Express what's on your mind clearly. Avoid being cryptic or elusive. On the topic of initiating romantic pursuits or the early stages of the dating process it's entirely acceptable to be playful and engage in flirtation. Enjoy it.
However, as any relationship progresses—and this applies universally, not just to romantic ones—it's imperative to communicate your thoughts and feelings directly. Subtle hints are ineffective. To emphasize: relying on hints is fundamentally flawed.
While there's a place for subtlety and playful hints, expecting others to decipher your specific desires based on them is unfair. Should you find yourself slightly disappointed because your hints went unnoticed, recognize that the responsibility lies with you for not being explicit.
It's crucial to have a clear understanding of your own needs and desires before making a request. If you're still exploring what those might be, that's understandable.
However, expecting others to intuitively grasp your wants without clear communication is a sure path to frustration and bitterness. This principle holds true in all forms of relationships, whether with friends, family, acquaintances, or colleagues, and is not confined to romantic engagements.
If you're uncertain about what you want, whether it be in your career, marriage, or familial interactions, how can you expect assistance from others? Hence, rather than hinting, it's essential to articulate your desires. Indeed, directness can be daunting as it exposes you to potential disappointment, but it remains the sole avenue for improvement.
Being ambiguous or withholding your true feelings only leads to dissatisfaction. No one possesses the ability to read minds. Consider the challenge you face in identifying your own needs and wants.
Now, imagine the difficulty for someone else, who lacks access to your inner thoughts. Their efforts to meet your unexpressed expectations can lead to mutual frustration. Without clarity on your desires, satisfaction will remain elusive, regardless of their attempts.
Keep in mind, you’re not alone. This is not some unique trait that only you possess. In this case, that’s a great thing. If you were alone on this, you’d feel terrible. Take some solace in the understanding that this is a ubiquitous malady.
At some point, we all resort to passive-aggressive behavior. Facing others directly is challenging because the fear of rejection is real and painful. It is, quite literally, confronting a vast unknown, which can be deeply unsettling. Yet, embracing this vulnerability is essential. It demonstrates a commitment to the relationship and a willingness to endure discomfort for its betterment.
Being indirect or resorting to hints doesn't contribute positively to any situation.
I’ll say again:
Being indirect or resorting to hints doesn’t contribute positively to any situation.
It's akin to silently bearing a burden, which is not virtuous but rather immature. You’re no martyr, stop seeing yourself that way. You’re selfish and scared. If you're a child, this may be part of your learning curve. Feel free to give yourself a break if so.
However, adults are expected to have moved beyond such tactics. Believing that misunderstandings are always the fault of others is a recipe for perpetual unhappiness. The responsibility for clear communication, ultimately, rests with you.
So step up, speak up, and figure out what it is you want.
Thus sayeth Dad.
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😂😂 this reminds me of The Man Rules. Did you ever see those?
This was a hard skill to change but knowing how to be direct with what I want has made me happier.