He Showed Me I Can

Now I Must

A working definition of fathering might be this: fathering is the act of guiding a child to behave in ways that lead to the child's becoming a secure child in full, thus increasing his or her chances of being happy and fruitful as a young adult.

Clyde Edgerton

Oh, before they turn off all the lights
I won't read you your wrongs or your rights
The time has gone
I'll tell you goodnight, close the door
Tell you I love you once more
The time has gone
So here it is

I'm not your son, you're not my father
We're just two grown men saying goodbye
No need to forgive, no need to forget
I know your mistakes and you know mine
And while you're sleeping I'll try to make you proud
So, daddy, won't you just close your eyes?
Don't be afraid, it's my turn
To chase the monsters away

Oh, well, I'll read a story to you
Only difference is this one is true
The time has gone
I folded your clothes on the chair
I hope you sleep well, don't be scared
The time has gone
So here it is

I'm not your son, you're not my father
We're just two grown men saying goodbye
No need to forgive, no need to forget
I know your mistakes and you know mine
And while you're sleeping I'll try to make you proud
So, daddy, won't you just close your eyes?
Don't be afraid, it's my turn
To chase the monsters away

Sleep a lifetime
Yes, and breathe a last word
You can feel my hand on your own
I will be the last one
So I'll leave a light on
Let there be no darkness, in your heart

But I'm not your son, you're not my father
We're just two grown men saying goodbye
No need to forgive, no need to forget
I know your mistakes and you know mine
And while you're sleeping I'll try to make you proud
So, daddy, won't you just close your eyes?
Don't be afraid, it's my turn
To chase the monsters away

Monsters

Monsters by James Blunt is brutal.

It represents a dark part of the forest I must enter at some point.

I must enter it voluntarily once it presents itself.

Am I strong enough?

Yes, I am.

But have I sufficiently ordered my life in such a way I can handle walking into those woods when the time comes?

While also continuing to handle what's mine?

While leading those around me, hand in hand, into their own darkness to help them find their light?

I don't know.

It doesn't matter.

I must.

But that offers no solace, no comfort.

So I will continue to work, to love, to grow.

So I am the one my family can lean upon at my father's funeral.

As it's my job, taken on voluntarily.

God forbid it's anytime soon

But Daddy didn't raise no punk.

He didn't raise a coward

And he didn't raise me in ignorance.

He raised my to face reality, no matter how grave, difficult, or ugly.

And to handle it however I can.

He never cared much how it got done

As long as it got done.

It didn't matter if the performance was ugly, as long as I showed up and performed, to the best of my ability, following the rules as they were intended.

And so I will.

Even in the end game.

Even when he's gone.

Because he loved me enough to demand that of me, to hold me to this standard.

Knowing it would serve me well later.

And I love him enough to continue to do so.

And to pass it along to his grandchildren

To whom I will show to power and the value of those lessons he imparted upon me.

Even in the darkest of moments and most hopeless of times.

He showed me I can.

So I will.

And my kids will see it too.

The reach of my father's love.

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