Absurdity Is The Rule
Your Life Is The Exception That Proves* The Rule
Basically, at the very bottom of life, which seduces us all, there is only absurdity, and more absurdity. And maybe that’s what gives us our joy for living, because the only thing that can defeat absurdity is lucidity.
Bear with me on this one yall. I’m working through some thoughts on coping with and working against the absurdity that is life.
So this one may wander here and there but it will bring it back home in the end.
Probably.
*Proves - As in to provide proof of, demonstrate, test, or make visible.
Contrastical
What would contrast more with the absurd than the well presented and well maintained?
What is more visible than stark contrast?
The world is absurdity. Think Albert Camus, naturally. It makes no sense. The world, that is. It is, as he put it, the absurd condition.
Yet at the same time it makes perfect sense. Only when it does, it doesn’t. Or it doesn’t remain sensical. The world will dramatically diverge into the nonsensical the instant you see the order it has been keeping from you.
People suffer for no reason. People suffer for good reason. People who have good reason to suffer don’t suffer. People who have good reason not to suffer do.
Good things happen for no reason, bad things too. Life and the world seem awash with naught but chance. Our lives appear nothing but playthings for gods and their whimsy.
Though that is not how it is, it certainly appears that way.
It, of course, being life. Or is it the world? Or is it chance?
Who knows?
Lament not, dear children, as the absurdity is merely a diagnosis! Whim and whimsy it may appear and may be, but insurmountable and unimpeachable it is not.
Camus names it absurd; the hideous incongruity between the soul's hunger for meaning and the universe's silent indifference. He places us beside Sisyphus as heroic stoics molding suffering into meaning.
His boulder continues to be pushed despite knowing well it will roll back down and his torment shall continue because he is defiant. And I love it. I adore the way Camus portrays this defiance as the last honest act left
Do I buy into it wholly and completely? Well, no. But you’ll be hard pressed to find anything I do buy into completely.
Beyond what is known to me, that is. You, children, are bought into wholly. Fully.
It is not your path nor your mission to escape this absurdity. You will not escape it beyond becoming its victim. That is to say the only escape is death and death is unacceptable.
No, you’re called to more. You’re called to be the contrast. You’re called to be the shadow on the ridgeline others will look upon in both confusion and inspiration.
“Holy shit, yall, we can go that way?!”
Yes, you can. You can be the order in the chaos. Though what that means is largely up to you, though I can guide you towards that meaning if you need it. Though keep in mind when I say towards I mean only that. I can point you in a direction that appears to show order, your order, and shout encouragement as you move on.
But I cannot lead you to it. It is not mine and I do not have any coordinates for you.
Leave your pride and your vanity at the door. To be the contrast is to be seen and be seen in revelation. This requires embodiment and embodiment requires work.
To be fair, you can technically become the silhouette by posing dramatically in front of the setting sun. Technically. But that does nothing for anybody except look really really cool.
What should happen instead is work. You should work to understand those values that define you, work to keep those values, and work to ensure those values truly provide value.
That will require detachment from the herd. It will require isolation, which will require loneliness, which will require ridicule to be taken and shouldered with stoic resolve.
We don’t notice a shadow on a ridgeline when it’s in a crowd, after all.
Which means you’ll also be going where others fear to go. You’ll be going where you fear to go.
But enough with the idealistic shit. Here’s how to start.
When you accept that the universe will not reward you for being good nor punish you for being evil; when you accept it will not recognize your genius, and it will not explain itself; when you accept it owes you nothing. is precisely when your journey will begin.
Will you be rewarded for good? Perhaps, but that isn’t guaranteed. Will you be punished for evil? Perhaps in this life, but again it isn’t guaranteed in this world.
SHOULD you do good for goodness’ sakes? My Wonderful God Almighty yes you should. But you should do it because it is the thing to do. It should not be done for some universal karmic justice or whatever other e-cig or vape flavor name people use to try and incentivize goodness.
SHOULD you avoid evil deeds and lifestyles? Yes, you should. But again, not for some imminent cosmic realignment that will convene some celestial court to judge you. Because it’s good for you, those around you, and everyone else.
This absurdity you see in the world is the result of so GOT DANG MANY people living in it and all making choices. So many choices. Those choices lead to choices and those choices lead to more. A choice someone made 2000 years ago is affecting choices you’re making today.
So putting good in the world WILL POSITIVELY affect the world. Putting evil in the world will negatively affect it. But that’s due to the absurdity that is permanence, the inevitable marching of time, the inability to take back choices you’ve already made, and how we each affect each other whether we want to accept it or not.
Which is why, despite the absurdity of the world, we must not be so absurd.
Be silly. Be whimsical. Be a nut. That’s all fine.
But do not give into the absurdity of the world when it comes to accepting what is when it is not what should be. You can only immediately affect a tiny sliver of the world now, but your actions and your choices will reverberate through the world, through time, and through history whether you damn like it or not.
We mostly float in this absurdity pool seeing and feeling only little ripples, though we don’t really register them anymore. Nor do we register the ones we create. We only notice when the waves make us bob up and down or the big ones that threaten to flip us over in our little floaties.
You may end up making some of those, but it matters not. Those ripples add up. They still make moves over time.
But while everyone is floating and slowly being pushed towards more and more absurdity, you can choose to slowly but surely paddle yourself towards a better path.
You’ll still be pushing against those ripples. You’ll be swimming against a tide of people content to allow the currents to take them as they will. You’ll be berated and bullied and beaten.
But you’re tough. I know you are, you’re alive.
It’s tough being alive.
Action in the face of absurdity is what gives weight to being.
A goal will die in absurdity. The world will mock your calendar. But a principle is something resilient. Choose one. Perhaps: "I do not lie to myself." Or: "I will finish what I begin." Or: "I will move my body each morning, no matter the mood." Build from that.
Take “I do not lie to myself” and live by that. You will then need to learn to embrace the ridicule. The contrast draws attention. Some of it scornful. If you want to be seen, you must be willing to be misunderstood. Prepare for that.
Prepare to be laughed at, not taken seriously, dismissed. It is all part of the echo of absurdity trying to reassert itself. Your defiance must be calm with your answer being your quiet persistence.
You are already pushing something. Everyone is. But most don’t know what it is. What is the boulder you’re pushing uphill, over and over? What weight are you bearing that, absurd though it is, defines your ritual? Name it. And when you name it, you may learn to shape it or you may find it has shape already.
But really name it. Once you do so it becomes real, though it feels so already. It gains weight. Authority.
Finally, there will be actions you take that serve no market, no economy, no algorithm, no "utility" by conventional standards. Do them anyway. Write poems that make no money. Dance badly. Tend to a small plant. These things mock the absurd without needing to explain themselves.
Once you can live properly without feeling the need to tell everyone about how virtuous you are, you may be ready to be seen on that hilltop against the setting sun.
Just remember that if you keep going, and properly, that in time it will happen regardless. You will be seen, they will wonder what you’re doing, and you will make positive change.
You don’t have to try and force it. If you do, it won’t happen. It will be pushed back against.
Basically, be the example.
It’s as simple as that.
But remember, simple is not the same thing as easy.
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