What Matters
Don't be fooled by others' pretenses – learn to discern what matters to you and make choices that count.
Discernment is God's call to intercession, never to faultfinding.
What Matters
What matters in this life of ours? Well, many things, but how do we sift through everything that’s available to choose from and find something truly worthwhile? That’s the difficult part of it all.
Well, first you would want to make a list. That would be time consuming but it’s worthwhile. However, how much time would that consume? It turns out a great deal, actually.
There are too many aspects of life that matter to sift through manually or individually. There’s so much going on in this wonderful and terrible world we live in. Even locally there’s too much to focus on to make any worthwhile decision on everything individually.
Enough with the questions though, I’m just going to get right into it. To find out what matters, stop lying to yourself about what you care about. Stop pretending to care about every tiny thing that happens. Stop feigning distress when you hear about something happening that doesn’t impact you.
That will come. There will be those events and those causes that actually hit you and move you. The plight of the little man against Goliath will cause anger to rise up and vengeance a desire in your heart and a wish to become enacted.
But not every time. There isn’t enough time in the day or capacity inside you to care about everything. So pay attention to what you’re having to pretend to care about and what you actually may be moved by.
That’s so incredibly important I am having some real difficulty conveying it in a readable and eloquent manner.
So I’ll stop trying to do that and tell you straight what I know. You will be faced with some choices in life and they will seem simple and obvious on the surface.
But know this, there are rarely important decisions that you will make in this life that will be simple and the right choice obvious. In fact, there aren’t many choices that don’t have several variations that may be acceptable or unacceptable.
But stop with the faux-virtuous empathetic demonstrations and acts. You will start to believe them. Your friends may do them and others may do them. Hell, you will be compelled to do them at times or risk orstracization by a certain group or friend group. But think about what that will do to you and what you believe.
It will clutter your thinking and your frame of reference with things you cannot control, cannot change, cannot understand, and should not worry about. It will shift your focus from what matters to what doesn’t, at least right now, and from what you should be focusing on.
I am not in any way telling you to be self-centered, but I am telling you to be truly discerning in what you allow yourself to be swept up by or compelled into believing.
There are movements starting everyday that are well meaning and well intentioned. Too often though they miss the mark.
There are rules and societal norms that have stood the test of time that you may want to pay attention to, but novel ideas need to be looked at with an eye of suspicion. If they aren’t, if they’re just accepted on their face, they will lead to ruin.
And now it’s your time to question me on this. I mean, how could I possibly know this? Well, basic reasoning. It’s elementary, my dear child. We, as humans, come up with ideas and thoughts all the time.
Some turn out to be groundbreaking and world changing and bring peace and wonder for all. Most, however, are just terrible. If a thought or an idea cannot stand up to scrutiny, it’s worthless. It’s likely dangerous. So ideas and movements and thoughts that never have to stand up to scrutiny should be questioned.
Why would that be the case? Is there something there we should see? Yes, there is. Think of scrutiny like a test of structural strength on a model building.
They’re going to have that scale model and push it a little, pull it a little, put some weight on the top, maybe poke it a bit. They’re going to blow on it and shake it and everything else to test their stability.
Well, that’s how you should approach ideas. Screw with it some. Twist it around, try and make it fall.
Hit it with a big stick and set it on fire. See if it can still stand under its own weight after all of that. Those ideas that aren’t allowed scrutiny cannot. And when you fold back the tapestry they lay over it and peel off the veneer you will find nothing but rotting matchsticks holding them up.
We all think we have the best ideas until they’re said aloud in a room full of discerning folks we respect. Then we realize they’re awful or foolish.
Or, if you’re lucky or persistent, it may be a wonderful idea worth starting to poke. It may be an idea worth exploring and even if it doesn’t turn out to be strong enough to survive the initial testing, it may lead to other ideas along the same thread that do.
Explore. Care. Just don’t allow yourself to be fooled into some dumb shit because you blinded yourself by accepting the notion you have to care about everything someone else pretends to give a shit about.
Do not allow yourself to be a fool at the whim of someone else and their stupid idea. Play the fool in worthwhile pursuit. It’s necessary to learn. But don’t allow someone else to make that choice for you. Make it yourself and make sure it matters.
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There exists in such a case a certain institution or law; let us say, for the sake of simplicity, a fence or gate erected across a road. The more modern type of reformer goes gaily up to it and says, “I don’t see the use of this; let us clear it away.” To which the more intelligent type of reformer will do well to answer: “If you don’t see the use of it, I certainly won’t let you clear it away. Go away and think. Then, when you can come back and tell me that you do see the use of it, I may allow you to destroy it.
GK Chesterton