What is Marriage? 3A

Von said the "S" word.

Jul 11, 2023

Links

What Is Marriage #1A (Dad Explains) Questions on what marriage is / How marriage has changed / Legal vs. Religious Questions

What Is Marriage #1B (Von) Asked and answered “Is Marriage Real?”

What Is Marriage #2A (Dad Explains) Expands on marriage being real within the framework of “names” or nomenclature.

What Is Marriage #2B (Von) Says the “S” word, extends the conversation into the realm of sex in marriage.

Let’s Begin

First, allow me to address the definition in the previous post.

Marriage is a sacred covenant between a man and a woman, established and blessed by God. It is a lifelong commitment to love, honor, and support each other and represents the unity of two into one. Two imperfect people making one person that actually has a chance to be “whole”, considering children NEED the entirety of what it is to be, to live, to exist, and to thrive this point is crucial.

I may have mis-spoke or misled my readers in thinking I had found the definition I used.

I should have mentioned that was my understanding of marriage. That’s my own interpretation of it, it is not strictly definitional in any traditional sense.

Given that understanding I still like it.

While Von presents the argument that marriage is for producing offspring and that is the intent of marriage, I disagree.

Prior to stating WHY I disagree allow me to add a caveat to the disagreement. I believe I am misunderstanding the view he put forth but I have re-read the piece a few times now and I’m not seeing where that misunderstanding presents itself, so keep that in mind going forward.

I only disagree semantically. I feel semantics is a cheap trick (Ain’t That A Shame) so I have hesitated keeping this portion in my letter but I figure if this wasn’t the intent Von would gladly provide clarification.

From my understanding, marriage isn’t only for procreation. Of course, it is the foundation required prior to proper procreative practices. A good, solid foundation is needed to produce competent, moral, value-laden and prepared progeny.

So perhaps I have misunderstood the argument laid out, given how small the deviation appears to be. The narcissism of small difference is a trap I want to avoid.

Yet if the purpose of marriage is solely children and not making two imperfect people whole, what about those who are unable to make children?

Given we likely will not know ones potential fertility until a season or two of attempts at intimate multiplication that cannot be the case. The amount of caveats and “but if this, then this” we find in the Bible tells us this must have been covered.

The Greatest In The Kingdom Of Heaven

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them.
And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.”
Matthew 18:1-5 NIV

At that time Moses was born, and he was no ordinary child.
For three months he was cared for by his family.
When he was placed outside, Pharaoh’s daughter took him and brought him up as her own son.
Acts 7:20-21 NIV

Mordecai had a cousin named Hadassah, whom he had brought up because she had neither father nor mother.
This young woman, who was also known as Esther, had a lovely figure and was beautiful.
Mordecai had taken her as his own daughter when her father and mother died.
Esther 2:7 NIV

So here’s the trouble with my own argument in relation to Von’s. Of this I freely admit. There are, as we see, many points in the Bible that show options for those couples that may not be able to conceive.

Which may point to the main point or perhaps the singular point of marriage being children. However, there’s also an emphasis in not holding a desire for children over ones love of God, so I am torn.

I do not disagree with the assertion that marriage is about sex, however. It is, even when procreation is not viable or no longer possible. The intimacy marriage requires makes sex a crucial act to undertake within a marriage. It also provides security FOR the act itself.

Considering marriage requires monogamy, this eliminates the possibility of sexually transmitted diseases, assuming “purity” prior. Even when that isn’t present, it drastically reduces the chance of contracting those maladies.

Additionally, in marriage there is no “hit it and quit it”. So, assuming fertility in this case, the man cannot just ditch the woman after the fireworks happen. Assuming they take the institution of marriage seriously, that is.

And the man that does not take marriage seriously is no man. He is but a boy. A real piece of shit boy, too.

The Ending As A Question

I would continue on but Von did a great job in the last piece and I don’t need to keep hammering home a point we agree on.

So I am going to try and figure out an answer to a question I have for next week and ask it of Von as well.

Is marriage solely about children or are children a critical part of marriage itself?

Meaning, do we have marriage because of children OR are children a piece of the marriage puzzle?