On Structure
Freedom and structure are often intertwined.
Man is not a machine that can be remodelled for quite other purposes as occasion demands, in the hope that it will go on functioning as regularly as before but in a quite different way. He carries his whole history with him; in his very structure is written the history of mankind.
**Quick note - this is the last “open” to everybody chapter of the book for a while. The next one will be 16 chapters from now, called “On Adaptability”. This chapter, “On Structure”, as well as “On Adaptability” and well in the future “On Courage” are all the beginnings of different sections within the book itself. The chapters that follow each section write-up relate to those sections. There is overlap, naturally, but I believe I grouped them appropriately overall.
The next chapter will be published soon and include a preview, but the full thing will be for paid subscribers. If you have any issues going paid, such as not having the funds right away or really anything else, reach out to me at dad@dadexplains.life with a short explanation of the issue (details aren’t necessary, don’t divulge anything you aren’t comfortable with) and I have no problem throwing you a comp for a bit.
Now, let’s begin the core content of “Dad’s Guidebook”.**
On Structure
It is not the case that freedom and structure are opposites. Structure is necessary for freedom and freedom is necessary for the viability of structure.
The difficulty we face is how to balance the two to maximize freedom while simultaneously maximizing structure. There’s a synergy we find at times and lose in short order.
Think of a seesaw or teeter-totter. They’re the same thing but the name of them varies by region. When playing on one with another child you’ll often try to have one of you go down as the other goes up.
However, after enough experience on the seesaw and you’re proficient enough to start experimenting, which happens with each and every skill in life when one applies themselves, there are other uses for the seesaw (teeter-totter).
One such use is for both of you to work together to get it to stop in the middle with both of you in the air. This requires cooperation, it requires teamwork, coordination, and precision. This much thought doesn’t often go into it, but getting that balance does require these factors to happen.
That is what we are doing with freedom and structure as a society, as a people. We started off with little to no structure, there was chaos aplenty. Over-correction happened as a result.
We saw structure and became addicted. Then, as we were learning to use this scale, this lever, this cultural and societal seesaw, we over-corrected again. And again. And again.
This is what we do. It doesn’t appear possible to stop doing so, though whether it is possible or impossible for humanity to balance this seesaw in the middle is not something I worry about or care to address.
It is something to be seen in the future. I do not know and will not know, though I am open to a discussion about it if it comes up.
But what I do know is you can find this balance in yourself. Your desire for freedom and your need for structure can be balanced and should. You should aim for that sweet spot in the middle, that neutral point.
You should aim to develop the finesse and the cooperation within yourself to hit that pivot point or that balanced distribution point on your internal lever. Your internal seesaw.
You can find it. You won’t likely sustain it long, not at first, but you will then know it and how to get there. You will become familiar with it and you will find it easier to return to that balance the next time.
The trick here is to become proficient enough to return to that balanced state at will. Once you can, that will grant you freedom unknown by many and unachievable by most.
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Dad
I love the idea of balance, or a seesaw, for this. It is so applicable, that we need to find the happy middle. The other way I have frequently had this described is structure builds walls, so that we are free not to choose within them.
We set our own boundaries, and live freely in them, removing the necessity of anyone else imposing limits.
As always, I appreciate the writing and ideas.