Inoculating Against Ideology
The Power of Emotional Intelligence in a Digital Age
Play nice, you guys. We only have one chance at this.
Disclosure to the Fullest
Full disclosure, I should be sleeping right now. It’s 1 AM here and I am awake. That makes me somewhat irritable yet at the same time I am excited to see why my brain won’t shut the heck up. Generally there’s something I need to write down so it won’t bother me anymore. So far my brain has won and it has been right in not letting me sleep about… oh… 100% of the time.
So let’s see what it decided was more important than sleep…
Let’s begin!
(Allow me to add, these are thoughts based on whatever I may have consumed today that got the wheels turning. I won’t know if they’re worthwhile until I can re-read this thing. Risky, right?)
Play Nice
Something is bothering me. What the hell is it with this whole “I won’t listen to someone I don’t agree with” nonsense and the “If someone doesn’t see things 100% like I do, they’re a terrible person” garbage? Cut the shit out, it’s shallow and it’s dull. It’s not even fun. I love reading what people think and how they think. Of course there are pieces that cause me to recoil, make me uncomfortable, cause me to roll my eyes, etc. Of course that happens. I won’t want you cancelled though. I won’t even try.
Admittedly I would have to care more to do so, but either way it just doesn’t make much sense to do. If I think something is dumb I’m going to allow time to show if perhaps I’m the dumb one or if my hunch was right.
Just sayin’
In our increasingly interconnected world, a wave of chance has swept over how we communicate, perceive, and interact with one another. Particularly notable is the rise of the social medias (I’m a Dad, I say it weird). A phenomenon that has drastically reshaped our discourse, bringing with it both positive advances as well as complex challenges. Amidst these changes, a growing disconnect in values has emerged, with people often clinging to ideologies and showing a diminished or non-existent capacity for understanding and empathizing with differing perspectives.
Unfortunately it often goes far beyond an understanding and empathy deficit. It often moves from some anger or hurt feelings to mobs trying to destroy lives and livelihoods. That’s not just unfortunate, that’s malevolent and disastrous. One crucial factor behind this trend appears to be a widespread deficit in emotional intelligence.
Note, that last line said ONE crucial factor, though I am of the opinion it’s a big one.
What is emotional intelligence, though? Well, it’s the ability to perceive, understand, manage, and use emotions effectively in oneself and the ability to recognize and interact with these in others. It is fundamental for effective communication and relationship building. It fosters empathy, self-awareness, social skills, and the ability to self-regulate. Considering those are the five factors IN emotional intelligence, that would make sense. It’s just a fun way to make a list. All of these are important for productive and respectful exchanges.
Imagine never learning self-awareness. You start scrolling the Twitters and you see something that deviates from your worldview. You post something and scroll on. You are shocked when someone comes back with vitriol and anger. While it turns out you flamed them for an opinion, you’re offended because they don’t automatically see things your way. You’re baffled that your attempt to convert by denigrating and insulting didn’t work on the first run through. So, not even realizing you’re upset because someone thinks slightly different, you double down and try again, this time nastier and with venom.
At least that is how it seems to happen. The Twitter is one nasty place.
Now let’s say you have some self-awareness and you’re scrolling through your soshe meed (s-oh-sh m-ee-d) of choice. You see a conflicting opinion on something that doesn’t even concern you and you get ENRAGED. Just PISSED. Hey, you know you’re pissed! Wonderful, first step? Complete! Alright, do you’re just angry and you’re going to DESTROY this person’s night. Not having any ability to regulate means you ACTUALLY DO. Which is odd, because just a few years ago it was considered only the out of control and crazy would do something like that. You know, the unstable.
Well, without any ability to self-regulate, which is #2 on the list for emotional intelligence, you ARE unstable. And we see so much of that now. I would almost venture to say it’s… crazy. Which is nuts.
And motivation is #3. But if you can’t do 1 and 2, 3 is impossible, so instead of motivating your fellow human being to be awesome, be better, be capable, be wonderful…
Your only option is to tear them down because you also lack #4.
You guessed it, empathy. You have no idea about 1, 2, or 3. That’s understandable because #4 leaves you completely out of depth. Of course, dear reader, I am not speaking of you. I’m sure you have emotional intelligence. Remember, this is a scenario we’re imaging, as if we’re the standard social media user.
Which isn’t fair either, frankly.
So not standard but bottom 10%. We’ll say that.
It’s likely a safe guess.
So, we have established that self-awareness is non-existent. Self-regulation is out of the question. Motivation is a foreign concept and empathy has never even occurred to the bottom 10%.
Awesome, one more to go.
Given that understanding, #5 is just not achievable. Social skills. We’ve already been through all the social skills so this is just not attainable. There is no awareness of even the most simple social mores or etiquette. Good luck expecting any regulation of self. I mean, quick dopamine hits are all the rage. I cannot see how regulation is even possible anymore. Motivation is out of the question, of course and empathy cannot happen if there isn’t awareness. Naturally there’s a massive breakdown of social skills.
And that’s what we’re seeing now. Zero social skills.
Now allow me to circle back through less sarcastically and with less dry wit.
In an online environment where interactions are mediated by screens and often shrouded in anonymity, the development and application of these skills can be notably impeded.
Low emotional intelligence can manifest as a lack of self-awareness, the first step in understanding not only our own emotions but also the emotions of others. When self-awareness is low, individuals may fail to understand how their words and actions affect those around them.
In the context of online interactions, where physical cues and immediate feedback are often absent, this can lead to misunderstandings, confrontations, and a breakdown in communication.
Another component of emotional intelligence, empathy, suffers greatly in a low-EI environment. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It requires one to step outside of their own viewpoint to consider another's perspective.
Without it, ideological echo chambers can easily form. In such spaces, individuals may cling to their preconceived notions and ideologies, often dismissing or even vilifying those who hold differing viewpoints. This lack of empathic engagement fuels divisiveness, leading to a further disconnect in values.
This clinging to ideology, amplified by the algorithms of social media platforms that foster echo chambers, can often be a manifestation of low emotional intelligence.
A high-EI individual, by contrast, would likely be more open to questioning their own assumptions, open to learning from others, and able to navigate discussions with empathy and respect, even when disagreements arise.
OKAY LET’S TAKE A QUICK BREAK
I think whining about something without giving any semblance of a solution is just whining. Obviously, I’m a Dad. I definitely think that. I have ideas out of necessity.
Partly due to being tired of the childish games, though I do love games and being childish, but mostly because I don’t want to be accused of whining. The Dads of the world keep a tally.
Let’s continue…
Developing emotional intelligence is therefore a key element in addressing the current disconnect in values. Enhancing self-awareness can lead to more thoughtful and respectful online engagement, while fostering empathy can help to break down ideological barriers and promote more inclusive and constructive dialogues.
In this digital age, as we navigate an ever-evolving landscape of communication, it is essential to prioritize the cultivation of emotional intelligence. By doing so, we can enhance our capacity for understanding, empathy, and respectful dialogue, fostering a more connected and understanding society, both online and off.
And lest you be turned off by the lack of unwanted witticisms and sarcasm in the last portion, fear not. It will return!
In the meantime I would appreciate it if ya’ll would stop being assholes to each other. I mean, this isn’t twitter.
It’s Substack.
Thanks.
Dad
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