"If you have a story, tell your story." - Chael Sonnen
These words rang through my earbuds and into my soul this morning. Chael presents the image of a wild guy, and he is, but he's also thoughtful in how he takes time to apply thought to concepts.
But this isn't about Chael Sonnen. I needed to acknowledge the jumping off point for this "dog sees squirrel" brain of mine. I tried to ignore the rush of thoughts cascading through the floodgates he opened, but they overtook me and now I'm along for the ride.
So come with me!
"If you have a story, tell your story"
Yes, please. Believe me, your story is interesting. You are interesting. People want to know who you are. They may know your Twitter handle. They may know your government name. They may even know other details about you. But without living with you, living as you, or living around you, they don't know you at all.
There are no shared events, shared memories, or shared moments. No shared feelings or interpersonal contact. So you're unknown.
That's truly a tragedy. You are valuable and many will enjoy getting to know you. People, as a rule, are perpetual sources of interesting thoughts, ideas, stories, memories, jokes, heartbreaks, victories...
Just, everything.
But why would people be interested in YOU? Specifically?
Well, because you are a "people". I could expand on that with the concept of a singular human being a temporal community, but I mean that as a "Dadism". When I say people are interesting, I mean YOU
We can make an assumption here and it will, more often than not, be accurate:
You have lived a life. I know, risky inference, but I will risk being wrong with this particular gamble.
So, if you have stories, WHY share them?
There are a few reasons that come to mind right away:
Because I want you to. That's the most important reason. As The Dad that is my privilege. You're welcome.
But aside from that, because you're interesting and you deserve a voice. We covered that part. People need to be heard. So, you should be heard.
At least, you should probably give yourself the CHANCE to be, if the opportunity presents itself.
But even if you have ZERO inclination to share something OR ANYTHING, there's still practical use to your story. You get to write it. Then you get to read it. Those are two powerful reasons to write your story or at least TELL your story.
"But I don't like writing"
"But I don't like reading"
That's fair. But have you done either outside of educational or professional constraints? You don't have to do it well, just do it. It will be garbage at first. When I go back to read this the first time I will likely vomit.
Counterintuitively this is why you should write your story. While it will be hot garbage in its original state, it doesn't have to remain that way. You get to take that eraser and wreck those ugly portions and make it beautiful through iterative attempts. That is, multiple attempts with the same goal on the same thing.
And that brings me to the most important point which is likely a mistake putting this at the bottom of a text, I'm sure there's plenty of reader drop-off already, but hey, I'm imperfect.
Now you have the opportunity to edit your MEMORY you wrote into a story. You get to reframe. You get to modify the perspective of the event you have held onto.
You get to realize, unlock, and implement your ability to GO BACK IN TIME and CHANGE YOUR LIFE. That doesn't mean lie or be dishonest. That doesn't mean omit something or brush it away.
That means you get to take the wisdom you have accrued over your life and apply it to events that happened PRIOR to having your current understanding of life. That is POWERFUL and necessary.
"If you have a story, tell your story."
At least tell your story to yourself so you can look at it objectively. When you do that, you can judge for yourself if the way you still see that event is helpful or valuable. OR if it's wrong and damaging.
You can turn bad events into lessons and risk avoidance. You can turn good events into thoughts to bring forth during hard times to keep your hope intact.
Don't forget to reframe those events that make more sense to you now. That's how we get better as individuals.
Of course, I am biased.
I love writing and I love stories.
Love,
Dad
I never thought about first setting a memory down as it was and then reframing it with my current perspective. I might have done something like by blurring those perspectives together, but I see the value in having them side by side so the contrast pops!
Thanks for writing.
Oh my goodness, I loved this explanation of Substack. It is exactly what I needed. I wasn’t sure what to write initially. I stumbled upon the site by listening or reading a Dr. Jemar Tisby article. I had an idea that it was for writing my story. I wasn’t so sure. I’ve had a blank page for several months now. Now I can start writing. Thanks for sharing!