Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.
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Freedom Through Structure
Since ya’ll grew up with me as your Dad, you are familiar with my opinions on freedom. It’s crucial, it’s required, it shall not be infringed. That being said, the title of this section must have brought about a question or two. Don’t worry, I will explain as always.
Freedom as a concept is all well and good. You may even believe that freedom is the default desire of all people. Living where you do and in the culture you do that’s a reasonable assumption, but it’s not so easy to prove. I would argue that freedom is what all people should strive for as they can but it is not the most important aspect of life for everyone. I would love for it to be, but I cannot force people to desire freedom. That would take away their freedom of choice and just ruin everything, really.
It’s a tricky issue, this freedom we enjoy. For one, it’s dangerous. Freedom requires trust and morality. It requires individuals and communities to accept and carry out responsibilities that may not be desirable. These responsibilities could be implied, obvious, or given to them in one way or another. But if you are required to do something or forbidden from something else, that isn’t freedom, right?
Sure that isn’t complete and total freedom void of all restriction. Life isn’t either, it cannot be. We have restrictions in many ways. We have gravity, for one. We have to breathe to live, we have to eat, sleep, drink, ambulate and many other things we don’t even see as restricting until they get in the way of what we want to do or keep doing in the moment.
But we must do these things and so we do even when they’re inconvenient. There are rules and limitations and they allow for our freedoms we so enjoy. We cannot walk down the street chatting with our besties and randomly jam a knife into the stomach of a passerby. That would be murder. Most believe it’s reasonable to place a restriction on murder and wouldn’t want that to be a freedom we can all enjoy.
There’s also an exercise we can go through to illustrate this in a more tangible way. This being the concept that freedom can only come through a shared set of rules, much like a game. For instance, during a pick-up game of basketball anyone can play so long as they follow the rules of the game. If someone joined in a five on five game of basketball at the local court wearing football pads and a helmet and started tackling anyone on the opposing team with the ball we wouldn’t allow them to continue playing. That’s not basketball, that’s assault.
So here’s an exercise, slightly modified from what Dr. Jordan Peterson has described many times during his lectures and interviews. First, you need to find someone to do this with. It doesn’t matter who, really, as long as they’re a willing participant. You should also be present but that’s implied, presumably. So many rules already, right?
All you should do is ask if they want to play a game. If they answer in the affirmative then ya’ll start the game. It’s fun, isn’t it?
No, it’s not fun. I say play the game but you have no idea what to do. There aren’t any rules or any set start to the game. There isn’t an objective and there isn’t an end. There is no direction and therefore there’s no game, nothing can be done because everything can be done. This is limitless or unstructured freedom. In other words it’s unstructured chaos. It’s terrifying, really. If you want to subject someone to a torturous few seconds, command the attention of an audience, grab a volunteer, then ask if they want to play a game. When they say yes, tell them it’s their move.
They will be frozen in place and embarrassed. In fact, you can do this with that partner you got originally with the first example and they will be frozen too. This time likely in bewilderment, not embarrassment. They may be embarrassed for you though or simply worried. That’s a reasonable response, too. Who plays a game like that?
Nobody plays games like that. Games cannot exist without structure and neither can life or freedom. That’s what rules help with in life and in different aspects of life. The trouble is balance. The hard part of freedom is finding the right balance of freedom and structure. If it helps I can assure you the likelihood you’ll ever find a perfect balance is vanishingly slim. It’s worth working towards regardless of how futile it may seem.
Hopefully this made sense. It has taken a long time for me to figure out how to explain why a certain popular phrase isn’t ridiculous or unnecessary. This phrase has plagued children for countless years and will for countless more, but it’s important. My house, my rules. This is said flippantly by many parents and without understanding the true underlying message and importance by many more, but it is necessary.
The rules of my home are there for a reason. They keep the peace, they ensure maximum freedom for the occupants, they assist in forming healthy habits for the underage residents, and they keep the peace. That’s why they’re there and that’s why they don’t have to be the same for each person. It’s a complex system but it must be in place or we risk chaos. If chaos remains too long we risk losing the home.
And I like my home. I also like my family. Follow the rules, value freedom, it’s important.
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This was always a hard one to fully grasp for me. As a kid in church, we often heard, "We do not use x substance because it is addictive, and addiction is not freedom." Which made some sense, but that seemed shallow.
I once heard someone else, I cannot remember where, say something along the lines of, "We set boundaries for ourselves, and follow societies, so that we are free to break the rules." The logic of that is partial, if you are in jail, you are not free to choose. The whole explanation, however, seems counter the principle.
This explanation seems to close that circle, or come closer. We are free because the boundaries give us a basic understanding around which stop us from being paralyzed by unlimited possibility. We understand what choices are free to us without being rejected by all those around us who give life meaning, or being crushed by the world as a whole.