Don't Be Mean To My Child
I don't suffer others being openly hostile towards you, why should I let you do it to yourself?
I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both.
Don’t Be Mean To My Child
“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”
Matthew 18:6
While I have the opportunity to address you, dear children, I have a request of you. Do not be mean to my child. You will be mean to each other at times, that is to be expected. You are siblings and it’s necessary. You are feeling out boundaries and creating behavioral norms you will take forward into your life.
When you move out and even before that you will be balancing and gauging both social edicts within your household and outside of it and finding balance. Good for you. Push those boundaries.
Apologize though when you know you should, forgive when you can, and carry on in grace towards those you love. Sibling rivalries will come and go, but the tie that binds will never be severed. But don’t be mean to my child.
Don’t be mean to yourself. I do not suffer those who are untoward or malevolent in speech or action when directed at my children. It will be addressed, for better or worse, and it will be addressed in whatever way seems necessary to ensure lasting understanding for them and discouraging of that behavior in the future.
Harshly. I will deal with them harshly. The next time you decide to be mean to yourself remember that.
You will be granted some leash in this regard, but as I am not known to keep opinions internalized, you will at the very least be subject to hearing how I regard such actions.
It’s pointless at best and destructive at worst. Remember also that you are human, someone who many people care about. And make no mistake, we care more deeply than you can fathom.
It may seem as though I can watch you, emotionless, as you scrape your knee or mess up a project. This is intentional yet false. Every scrape of your knee is another arrow in my heart and every plea for help is another twist on the rack my heart is tied to.
However, I must allow you to see how capable you are and how capable I know you are. You need to see you are able to pick yourself back up when you fall and you are able to correct an error or right a wrong in other aspects of your life. I want to catch you, but I would rob you of your confidence and experience.
You do not have to treat yourself as a father treats a child. You should be forgiving of yourself when you deserve it. You should tend to your wounds and console yourself when you can.
You should give yourself the benefit of the doubt when one is present. You should allow yourself to take baby steps and you should gently coax yourself to do so as one would to their own child.
Request of yourself to make your bed, do not demand it. Reward yourself accordingly with a splash of hazelnut in your coffee or a small allowance at Starbucks to upsize your morning drink.
Give yourself the carrot you dangled, not just the stick used to prod yourself forward. This is especially true when you find it difficult to get out of bed. You will run into that and you must look at yourself in that situation as you would a good friend or a spouse.
Be understanding and gentle, slow to anger or impatience, and quick to offer encouraging words. When a friend makes a mistake, are you quick to criticize and unyielding in reminding them of it?
Hopefully not or you need to pick up the phone and tell me so I can straighten you out a bit, but I imagine that’s not the case. You are not to stand in judgement of them and you should not stand in judgment of yourself. At least not unwavering and ruthless judgement, as a start.
You don’t hold them to an impossible standard and you shouldn’t do that to yourself either. Let things go and be wary of the overly critical thoughts that pop up. They’re likely wrong. Don’t ignore mistakes, but don’t subject yourself to the stocks or the rack for every small misstep either.
Don’t ignore self care. You are special, sure, in that you are unique and have the benefit of being placed on this earth with a special purpose tasked solely to you. Made in the imagine of God and capable of doing unique and fantastic things? Absolutely.
You aren’t special here though. Everyone needs self care or they will limit any realization of who they can be. Your uniqueness will cease to be and you will become burdened beyond any reasonable measure by mental and physical stressors like most people are today.
Let’s use a dog for example. Or a cat, yeah I am looking at you. You know who you are. If you have a pet and you see that it is not behaving like it usually does, you will look online or take it to the vet.
Likely both. Knowing that’s true, why is it when you aren’t acting like you know you should or normally do, taking a look in a book, online, or taking a trip to the doctor doesn’t happen?
Let’s say you took your animal companion to the vet and you were given a prescription to fill, you would scrounge up the cash and get those meds. Why hesitate when you get something prescribed to yourself and question if the money is worth spending here?
You can’t take care of that animal if you aren’t taken care of yourself. Seems worthwhile to me, given you are my child. Get the damn meds and actually take them as prescribed.
Let’s take this analogy to its end and say you got the meds for the animal (whose value to me is far less than your value to me, but to each their own I guess…). I can venture a guess that you will give those meds to the cat or the dog at the prescribed time and at the prescribed dosage without worry about the bodily harm the cat will inflict upon you while trying to administer the medicine.
That’s a hell of a sacrifice for a pet (and one I believe you must make, for the record). Why is it so hard to do that for yourself? Just set your alarm, steel your mind against any repulsion to taking medications, and take care of yourself as if you were someone worth caring for (or some dog, even).
In the event of any doubt remember this, I know without any doubt or exception that you are worthwhile and worth taking care of. Assign to yourself the value I hold for you in the times you find it difficult to see yourself in a good light. Limitless and necessary for my world to continue. I mean that.
Do you not know that you yourselves are God’s temple, and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?
1 Corinthians 3:16
If nothing else, take care of yourself as your mother would. You will be better for it.
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