Dear Children
"Life's a dance you learn as you go. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow."
There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings.
Got a question or message for "Hey Dad"? Submit it anonymously!
I understand the importance of privacy and want to make it easy for you to reach out. You can submit your questions or messages completely anonymously using this form. Just click the link below. I look forward to hearing from you!
Submit Your Anonymous Message Here
This is a repost as well as an attempt to integrate something I have been trying to integrate for a while.
Voice. Narration? Speaky into talky box. This is potentially a part of my book I’m writing and one thing I like to do is HEAR what I write to see if it makes sense outside of my brain.
So it accomplishes two things.
Voice-overs or whatever.
And hearing the content in order to make changes to flow, word choice, lame shit, all that.
Dear Children
Kids, life is complex. If anyone offers to explain life to you in a simple, one dimensional way, walk away. Life’s too short to suffer fools and it would do you well to recognize them when they are open about it.
This doesn’t need to be offensive or rude, either. Some people are just fools. Shallow of mind and easily distracted. You are not fools, none of you. Don’t be dragged down to their level, it’s difficult to get back up where you belong.
We all want life to be easy. Who wouldn’t? That would make life easy, it’s self-evident an easier life would be more desirable, assuming purpose and meaning remained unchanged.
The problem is life isn’t easy and it can’t be. We don’t grow and we don’t change without heat and without getting hammered on the unyielding anvil we call existence.
If existence is the anvil, life is the hammer. We’ll call society the heat for now. I’ll try and make it work either way. Life isn’t easy and it also isn’t simple. Beware the individual trying to paint it any other way.
Beware the charlatan telling you it can be easy, it cannot. Beware the snake oil salesman that says everything is black and white, there’s always a clear decision, there is not.
These people may not be malevolent. They may just be confused or stupid, that’s fine. They’re still dangerous. They may even have all the best intentions in mind, but they’re pointing you in the wrong direction.
They’re guiding you into a minefield they don’t even know exists. The many facets of life you’ll face are all intertwined. What this makes is a complex system, one that’s constantly changing.
One day you’ll find something that motivates you then the next it’s gone. There’s nothing wrong with you, this is what being human is. It’s adaptation, it’s character building, it’s dealing with the grief and tragedy that comes with it gracefully.
It’s recognizing others are like you, flawed and imperfect. It’s about listening to those around you and paying attention to your surroundings so you can recognize patterns that will serve you well.
It’s about having the courage to keep going, day after day, knowing nothing comes easy and nothing stays the same. It’s about being honest and forthright as you move through life despite the temptations of deceit and manipulation. They are easy to give in to but difficult to wrestle away from.
It’s about the constant movement forward to stave off entropy and being thankful you’ve been provided a way to do so. It’s about realizing when that motivation to do what you must leaves you that you’ll need to foster the dedication and the perseverance to do so anyway.
Life is about being able to focus on what you need to, what matters, and the ones who matter and avoiding distraction along the way. And finally, life is about realizing you are human and you will make mistakes.
Life is about being able to forgive yourself mid-step so you can take the next one without that self doubt that comes hand in hand with guilt. There are things we should feel guilty about, but if you have learned you must let it go. It will do nothing but kill you in the end.
Life is about living, not existing. It’s easy to exist. Drink some water every now and then, reach into the chip bag and munch a little, then just lay around and do nothing. There, you exist. What now? That’s no way to live, that’s torture.
That’s hell. I have tried that and many other ways to exist in this life that were all failures. So please, pay attention. Allow the struggles I’ve gone through and the mistakes I have made to help you along the way. You will still struggle, don’t worry. You will still make mistakes, don’t worry.
You will ignore, forget, omit, overlook, skim past and scoff at things in this book that I say are true. This will help ensure you get to make your own mistakes, which you need to. My fear is I won’t put enough here, I won’t say enough, I won’t make this entertaining or readable in a way that will keep your attention for the important parts.
There’s another issue, it’s all important. We need priorities, we need a hierarchy in which to compare. Each one of you will have differences in that tier list even regarding the topics I cover here. That’s normal, do your thing.
With that in mind I did not sort this based on priority, though that may have been a good idea. It is sorted by topic for when you need it. When you lack motivation, go to “On Dedication”. When you are feeling resentful, go to “On Gratitude”.
When you cannot overcome guilt, go to “On Forgiveness”. When you don’t know what you’re supposed to pay attention to, go to “On Focus”. If you need motivation to keep moving forward, go to “On Entropy” so you can learn what you’re running from.
When you feel trapped in a web of your own design, go to “On Honesty”. When you don’t think you can face your problems, go to “On Courage”. When you just can’t seem to relate to those around you, go to “On Listening”.
When you don’t understand yourself or your loved ones and why they act how they do, go to “On People”. When you lose someone close to you and feel lost, go to “On Grief”.
When you want to figure out how to ensure you are prepared for your future, go to “On Character”. And when you are struggling to deal with change, go to “On Adaptability”.
I cannot force you to do anything, dear children. I can only implore you to do what you know you should. This is an attempt to provide you with the tools you will need as you embark on your journey forward.
It is up to you to put them to use. A tool by itself is nothing. A tool in the hands of a master is everything. Master your own life by learning about what life is. This won’t be the last time I offer guidance but let’s use it as a starting place. From here, we have our foundation. Now let’s build on it and see what it becomes.
Perfection is a worthy goal. Perfection is an unattainable ideal that everyone could strive for yet no one should expect to achieve.
Practicing everything in this book is a worthy goal. Practicing them simultaneously is the ideal. Being able to do so is unlikely and thinking you should be able to do so is folly.
Give yourself a break. I think you’re superhuman but chances are you’re not. Know that doing everything right all at the same time is perfection and know that falling short of perfection is what makes you a human, not a failure.
All this is to say the book is a lot. It isn’t the longest book ever written and isn’t the most comprehensive either. Neither of those were a focus nor were they necessary. This is meant as a primer for what’s to come and to help you identify what has already been.
Use this as a guide, not a checklist.
Found value in these words? Want to dive deeper into the raw, unfiltered truths of life as seen through a father's eyes?
🌟 Join the "Dad Explains" family today! Don’t Forget to share!🌟
Subscribe for free to get full access to our heartfelt, gritty, and honest explorations of life's ups and downs. Every subscription, free or paid, is a cherished support in our journey. For those who choose to contribute, know that your paid subscriptions play a vital role in keeping the quality high, helping cover costs for essential tools like Adobe and other editing software.
But more than that, your support keeps the spirit of "Dad Explains" alive and thriving, ensuring that every story, every lesson, and every piece of dad wisdom reaches you in its most authentic and polished form.
Got questions or thoughts to share? Feel free to drop a comment below or send me an email at dad@dadexplains.life. Your insights, stories, and questions are what make this community a rich tapestry of shared experiences and wisdom. Let's keep the conversation going!
Subscribe today and be a part of a community where every voice matters, every story counts, and every fatherly piece of advice is a step towards understanding the complexities of life.
Is there a book?
“Life is about living, not existing.”
Love this. It’s actually a topic that comes up quite often at work. Being around death all the time tends to put things into perspective when it comes to quality of life.