Dad's Learning Post Therapy Worksheet - Challenging Negative Thoughts
I may have taken this one further than intended. That may be a common occurrence for me when I get the chance to write.
Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.
These, as they come, will be laid out like the worksheet itself and my answers in italics.
Just to keep it simple.
Challenging Negative Thoughts
“Depression, poor self-esteem, and anxiety are often the result of irrational negative thoughts. Someone who regularly receives positive feedback at work might feel that they are horrible at their job because of one criticism. Their irrational thought about job performance will dictate how they feel about themselves. Challenging irrational thoughts can help us change them.”
Answer the following questions to assess your thought:
Is there substantial evidence for my thought?
So this worksheet seems to aim at assessing thought at the time it occurs, as opposed to something to reflect back on, though I could be wrong. So I will attempt to use this now with the understanding it may not be as effective.
What am I thinking now? Well, today started off well. Though I woke up later than normal I didn't have to take the boy to daycare because it's Good Friday. He woke up on his own shortly after and brought his mother out of the room to hang out with me in the living room. Afterwards we took him to breakfast because we try and have Friday morning breakfast dates when we can and he was home, so why not treat him too? When we got back we just took a chill day until his naptime and he went down in a pretty good mood.
However, during naptime we got a text and needed to pick the oldest up from school. This started an unfortunate chain of events that has me in a semi-overwhelmed state. Considering there were post nap plans that appear to have to be scrapped now, though perhaps not.
Of course, as I write this, it occurs to me to actually ASK the question. How are these events going to affect the afternoon?
When the wife returned home, she had in tow not one but TWO of the girls. Considering the schools weren't doing anything of note today since next week is spring break, that decision makes sense to me. It turns out that one of the girls wasn't thrilled about being picked up early. Seems a party may be missed. So there were inflamed moods.
I should work on not allowing my own mood to be affected.
Back to the evidence for my thought, I think it's reasonable to think the plans may be derailed.
However, it is not reasonable for me to assume this but not discuss it with the other parties involved and continue as if I have no chance of being incorrect.
Is there evidence contrary to my thought?
This feels like a rude question. I don't like being wrong, why would I want to explore anything that may prove me wrong?
But of course, that's exactly the point of the question. Sometimes we have to face our own humanity and in this case, it's the "flawed" portion.
And brings me to the answer to the question I should have asked above, before feeling the way I did, or perhaps shortly after feeling that way.
"Hey, we had plans for the afternoon. This doesn't derail those, right?"
Well, to be as honest as possible, it turns out I said that with an accusatory tone, which I do not doubt. I have a bad habit of that particular tone.
But it turns out that no, it doesn't have to affect those plans.
That sounds like evidence to me.
Am I attempting to interpret this situation without all the evidence?
Yes. Yes I was.
What would a friend think about this situation?
I hope I never have to find out! It’s a silly situation. Does this question mean the situation itself, prior to my reaction to it? Or the situation as a whole with my reaction included? I am going with the latter, and man it all feels silly now. In fact, it’s silly enough to be more difficult to write about as I continue to feel compelled to (because of the continued questions). It also makes me NOT want to publish this.
But I made a promise in OCTOBER, so I will do so.
Begrudgingly.
Why am I getting annoyed being asked questions after I have already realized my mistake?
That’s something I would like to explore. What’s up with that?
I can feel myself, upon reading each new question to answer, getting more annoyed. That’s an interesting response.
If I look at the situation positively, how is it different?
This question can positively kiss my butt. I was feeling cranky and I don’t seem to want to let that go. I wonder what THAT’S about. But let’s give this an attempt.
Closing my eyes…
Not typing with my eyes closed, just GOING to close them…
Okay so they’re open again and my daughters are home early to start this spring break. That means the wife and I have potential helpers with the boy and possibly a babysitter a bit earlier. And we don’t have to plan on spending an hour and a half sitting in a line to pick them up later this afternoon.
So that’s good… I GUESS.
Will this matter a year from now? How about five years from now?
No.
I have no idea if this is an appealing piece of writing for ANYBODY.
But I did say I was going to be transparent with these therapy sessions and the growth I am attempting to manifest from them, so here it is.
Hopefully the format is acceptable.
Love,
Dad