Dad Explains: Stupid Is As Stupid Does
And Stupid Will Be. Are actions separate from existence?
A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. But a wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid the mistake altogether.
A Teensy Snafu
The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.
Ah, I see you’ve done goofed.
You messed up, kiddo. Hey, it happens to all of us, even the best among us. Yes, it has happened to me, too.
Your Dad, though obviously devoid of imperfection, has made mistakes.
This includes a few grammatical, word-use related, and definitional ones during this… chat. Can you find them?
Let’s get to it.
An interesting if not inflammatory idiomatic expression, “Stupid is as stupid does” is relatively well known. Thank you for that, Mr.Gump.
While a cursory Google search shows people cannot agree whether this is an idiom or a proverb, it doesn’t matter for this piece so we’re going to leave that alone.
Because, really, who cares?
Actions Versus Existence
Quality is not an act, it is a habit.
I care, actually, but that will be a conversation for another day. Today let’s talk about actions versus existence. This idiomatic proverbial expression works wonderfully to illustrate how perception is reality on the one hand, yet your perceived reality may be false on the other (hey, another idiomatic phrase).
When we look at the phrase 'Stupid is as stupid does,' what we're really uncovering is a timeless truth about human nature. It's not about how smart you sound or how you present yourself; it's about what you do.
In the grand narrative of life, actions speak louder than words, and they paint a more authentic picture of our character and intelligence. This wisdom, wrapped up in a simple saying, was brought to the forefront of our cultural conversation by none other than Forrest Gump, whom we alluded to earlier, a character whose simplicity often revealed profound insights.
Now that we have a grasp of the message, let’s get to the real reason we’re here today. Is you dumb, or does you do dumb shit sometimes?
Well, that’s up to you, but I default to assuming you do not intend on being stupid. Therefore your current predicament, assuming I’m addressing you, dear child, following a teensy snafu, is one “stupid does”.
Let’s go into the minutia of these separate understandings. I know, you love long lectures.
Stupid Is & Stupid Does
Step with care and great tact, and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act.
My child, I love you and I believe in your unfathomable potential. However, it’s up to you to see it through. I can only do so much.
Occasionally what I do will feel as though I am cutting you down, and perhaps I am. Pruning, after all, is necessary for proper growth, so cutting off dead wood works in your favor. I know it doesn’t feel like it does in the moment.
Sorry sweetheart, I have never and will never intend to cause you pain. It will happen from time to time, but it’s never the purpose. This means I must call out the “stupid does” moments you have when I see them.
The intent here, as noted, is not to cause harm, but to prevent further harm. It is to allow new growth where rot would have taken hold otherwise. It is to prevent the “stupid is” from spreading.
We don’t always know what is stupid when we do the stupids. In this case, the stupids refer to those things that weren’t well thought through and didn’t age well.
There’s No Sense Crying Over Spilled Milk
Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.
For instance, when you were getting yourself a glass of juice and, for expedience, you place the milk on top of the fridge as you were trying to make it easier to retrieve and subsequently replace the carton of orange juice that was right behind it.
Alas, after you grabbed the juice, poured it into the cup without spilling it, then replaced that carton of juice to its original location you forgot something. But what was it? Looking around you cannot seem to remember and so, as you likely should in these situations, you shrug it off and shut the fridge.
Whoops.
Placing things outside of your line of sight turned out poorly. That happens, little one, don’t sweat it.
Don’t do it again, but don’t sweat it.
But then, for some reason a week later, there’s another gallon of milk on top of the fridge. Ah, that’s the slow creep of “stupid is” that must be removed, sourced from the occasional encounter with “stupid does”.
Wrap It Up, Pops
A truly good book teaches me better than to read it. I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint. What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.
Alright, so here’s the quick and painful. Or is it painless? Either way, here we go.
“Stupid is” denotes a state of being or a description of existence and current position, characterologically. “Stupid does” refers to actions taken. Despite their order in the idiom as such, the “stupid does”, the act, it leads to the “stupid is”.
Like the rot in a once strong and mighty oak that causes it to crack and topple over, “stupid does”, the actions you take that you should avoid in the future, they start small. It starts as one action and grows from there if not attended to.
That grows into “stupid is”, meaning those mistakes continue and the inevitable mistakes of life will pile onto those earlier mistakes you’re still making and over time turn you into a walking disaster.
The solution is simple, though not easy. Only allow each iteration of “stupid does” to happen once, if ever. Never allow it to happen more than once if you can help it. There are some mistakes you must make many times to figure out they’re mistakes, but those aren’t the most common and once you have identified it, you should avoid it if you can.
Don’t worry about those. As with many things, they will happen and it sucks. Pay attention to what you CAN identify as a mistake and what you CAN cease doing.
That’s all you have to do.
And I know you can do it.
Because I love you and I know you’re capable.
I believe in you, kiddo.
Love,
Dad
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