Let Me In Chapter 3: In Body And Mind
Let Me In Chapter 3: In Body And Mind
Who is responsible for the life we lead? Who is to blame when things go bad?
Let Me In
Chapter 3: In Body And Mind
Peter stopped narrating the immense book in front of him and gave John an empathetic and knowing glance. Looking back down at the tome, he took one of the long, silken ribbon markers attached to the top of the spine and placed it neatly along the page he last read.
“You have some questions for me. Ask them before we move on,” Peter said as he closed the book on top of the marker.
“Shouldn’t you know my questions already?” John asked. His tone matched his face, impatience and scorn unmistakably present with both.
“No, John, I told you it doesn’t work like that,” replied Peter. “I am human like you. I cannot read your mind.”
“Human my ass. You didn’t even budge earlier. You didn’t strain at all. You’re not human.”
“We aren’t on Earth, not exactly. The rules aren’t the same here. What you experienced was not my strength, that left long ago. As He wills, so it will be. But you know that, of course. Everything will be easier to understand once you accept where you are not.” Peter looked back up to meet his gaze as he was speaking, a soft and kind expression on his face.
This did little to comfort John. His face flushed with anger at Peter. How was he so calm? He didn’t want to be pitied or looked upon as if he was some lost child. He didn’t want understanding or kindness, he wanted a fight. He wanted to get back to his family. He wanted to leave.
“There’s nothing you can do until we are done with this book,” Peter said in that same calm and measured tone.
“If you’re not able to read my mind or hear my thoughts” -John raged, tears forming in his eyes- “then what the fuck are you doing? I can’t even think to myself without you intruding.”
“That is not my intent and I am sorry if I am causing you any further distress. It is unnecessary, of course, considering how taxing this is without feeling your privacy has been robbed of you.
“I cannot read your mind. I cannot hear your thoughts. I have been around for a long, long time and people say an awful lot without uttering a word. They say what they’re thinking, what they’re feeling with their face and their body. They fill novels with their expressions and how they hold themselves. They tell their story in their actions and what they avoid. How they stand, where they place their hands and where they look.
“They talk to me when they shift the lines on their face or when they furrow their brow. Did their eyes narrow as I spoke or did they widen? Will they meet my gaze or look away? Of course, everyone is different, but you can think about that as a dialect or an accent. All in all people are speaking the same language, one that’s difficult to conceal.
“The language of the body helps us understand and decipher proper intent and tone. It helps differentiate, in a subtle way, the grifters, the charlatans and the liars from the honest and the open.
“There are some that give no hint. There are so many people, exceptions are to be expected. Either by occupation or by virtue of atypical brain chemistry. Those people, however, rarely make it to me. Count yourself lucky, John, that this chance has been granted to you. Be grateful and act wisely going forward.
“Your actions and your reactions thus far are understandable. They will not be held against you nor should they. It would not be just to punish you for anger and desperation in a situation that should illicit anger and desperation. That would lack the love and the grace promised to you long ago.
“So no, John, I do not read you mind. I understand what you are saying with your face and your body. It is a language I have had many years to come to know. My responses are simply educated guesses. I am not always right, but as time goes on and I continue to help people I guess properly more often.
“And, as you would certainly agree, there are thoughts that can be guessed solely on what someone heard last. Think of those thoughts as standard responses to an external stimulus. During a conversation, if you have it enough, you will start to anticipate how it will go. You have experienced this before, no doubt.
“A certain type of person, a certain topic and a certain carefully chosen view or phrase will illicit, most of the time, an expected response. Surely you’ve noticed? Yet you wouldn’t claim to be reading their mind, would you?” Peter paused for John to answer.
This was a lot to take in and the pause was prolonged. John was struggling to recall everything Peter had said. It didn’t help any that all his talk about body language had John hyper aware of everything he was doing. Where should he have his hands? Was he standing weird? What was he giving away?
Peter chuckled. “I’m sorry John, I should know better than to go into such detail before making you more comfortable. Don’t worry too much, it’s not my job to judge you. Relax if you can, we should continue with the book anyway. I should let you know though, we’re about to go through your adolescence.”
John tried to relax a bit. It wasn’t easy as he was still trying to come to terms with everything that was happening. Suddenly a feeling of dread washed over him and he looked up at Peter, eyes wide.
“Do we have to? What about my questions?” John muttered, feeling weak and helpless, like a small child awaiting judgement from his father.
“Unfortunately yes, John,” replied Peter. “I spoke too long and we need to get through more than we have so far. Let me get through this part and we’ll come back to your questions. And John, this won’t be fun for me either.”
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