Become More Than Your Fear
You will be afraid. So what?
Always do what you are afraid to do.
Become More Than Your Fear
You will be afraid. You will be fearful. Do not spend your time attempting to stop being afraid. That's a losing battle. You need to grow instead and that involves facing your fears, as you well know by now. So let's go over what that means and why that's important.
I am going to add a little flavor to this conversation. Some gravitas, if you will, because this is all very important. Remember what I have said to you about facing what bothers you, facing what makes you anxious, facing your problems and your fears.
The keys to no longer being ruled by your fear are there., take them. You will never escape fear. You can only become what your fear cannot control. Becoming competent guards you against the grip of terror.
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
When you were younger you were glued to my hip. That's figurative, not literal, except for a few of you who may have actually done that. Children are real stinkers. Whenever I would get up and migrate to a new room, you were quick to pop up and follow, normally directly underfoot.
That was frustrating for me because I am not a fan of having my way blocked, tripping over tiny people, and because I knew there was nothing to be afraid of. At least I thought I knew, but that was only true from my perspective.
You, on the other hand, had plenty to be afraid of. You were beginning to realize that people have their own agency, so they made their own decisions. You were beginning to realize not everyone has your best interest at heart, so everyone had the potential to be dangerous.
To him who is in fear everything rustles.
You were beginning to realize that there were bogeymen in more than just books or whatever oddity you happened to come across in those creepy videos you'd watch.
You weren't aware literal bogeymen didn't exist either, so that's a double whammy. Basically, you were coming to terms with the uncertainty of your world and you were definitely uncertain about it. Uncertain what it held, uncertain what to do, uncertain how you should feel.
That seems reasonably scary to me. So how did I end up no longer fearing all those things? Well, I didn't. Not really. I would be terrified if a bogeyman of any sort were to enter my house. I am afraid of the potential malevolence of people, especially towards my children.
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
Even more still if I am not around when it happens, and chances are unlikely I ever will be around when that happens. That's very scary. Yet I can operate without tailing someone bigger and stronger than myself at all times.
That's where competence comes into play. That's where understanding what it is I fear comes into play. You will never rid yourself of fear, but try and understand what it is you're afraid of.
Once you can do that, once you start forming an accurate image of what it is, you become more equipped to deal with it. You become more competent. You become more courageous. When you start understanding yourself as well, you become more courageous.
I know what I am capable of, that helps me understand what others are capable of. While I still fear them, I know I can deal with them.
So face that fear and flesh out the image of it. Look at it in detail, what it looks like and what it does, what it can do, how it moves, what it thinks, so that the next time you encounter it, you know what to expect.
Pay attention to what happens there too, I think you'll be surprised yet encouraged. I will bet you won't feel as much fear. I will bet that you will question at least once why you ever allowed it to overtake your mind. To cloud your judgement and make you worry.
Take baby steps into that scary room. Tip-toe into the darkest part of that forest. You don't have to rush headlong into those things, but you must go forward. Go into the darkness or into the fear and find that light that must exist.
That light is knowledge, that light is competence, that light is you growing. It is you becoming more than your fear. Once you have that light, the darkness is gone, the uncertainty is gone, and you will know what's there and how capable you are in dealing with it.
That's really all I can ask of you. Just try it and see. Make an attempt, make a million attempts, and find out how capable you truly are. I see it, I need you to see it as well.
I love you which means I am a bit biased, but it also means I can see your potential. You have the potential to be unphased by that which paralyzes you now. Get to it. Become more than your fear.
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Andrew Ussery
Dad
Great job on this post. You know I had to pop up with your discussion on fear. 😏