Archetypal Fatherhood
I do love stories. I also love space. Add some aliens, sprinkle in some love and triumph and garnish it with character growth and life lessons and I am a happy camper.
I don’t use my head to fly the arrow boy, I use my heart.
- Yondu Udonta
The Adversarial Father
An archetypal father in literature, the adversarial father is generally represented as one who misuses or abuses power while in such a position. Of course normally this is a father figure, though “tyrant king” would work here as well. It’s the dark side of authority, what we can slip into if we’re not careful or we forget that we are not all knowing and all powerful ourselves.
This can also manifest if we become hedonic, resentful, lustful, gluttonous, greedy, all those fun words. Basically this is the selfish manifestation of perceived or actual power and authority over others. This character is typically abusive, manipulative and controlling.
We should strive to avoid this.
However, there are archetypes that appear to resemble this but are not selfish, they are just human and make mistakes. Should they be forgiven for their ignorance? Does this make it okay?
Enter Yondu
He may have been your father boy, but he wasn’t your daddy.
- Yondu Udonta
Yondu, of Guardians of the Galaxy fame, originally appears to be greedy and tyrannical. This is likely due to the fact that he is greedy and he is tyrannical.
Well, mostly. He can be, at the very least. But like any well written character, he is complex. When it comes to Peter Quill this is apparent.
He isn’t Peter’s biological father but he assumed the father figure role after a revelation we became privy to in the second movie (Marvel in the case). He was not morally ambiguous, not really. He was a smuggler and a thief and a bounty hunter yet that doesn’t preclude him from being well meaning in other areas.
Given his own backstory and line of work we can assume there weren’t many role models for Yondu to emulate that would have made him a good father. We can also argue that overall he wasn’t a good father, but I find it difficult to say that he wasn’t successful overall.
I’m sorry I didn’t do none of it right, I’m damn lucky you’re my boy.
- Yondu Udonta
But what is all this about, Mr. Author of Dad Explains?
Well, I have been curious about the adversarial father role and how it can end up shaping those they are meant to affect. That is, how does that mold their children? The problem I kept running into was a misunderstanding of what an adversarial father. I have had it in my head that the role was akin to the helpful adversary, much like we see in the Bible.
It turns out what I was thinking of was the challenging father or tough love mentor. One who, when taking on the role of mentor or father, teaches by way of trial by fire or intentionally giving their children a common enemy. This isn’t the best way to raise children, of course, but I cannot say without some doubt that it is never the way to go about it.
Perhaps then this is only one of many ways to go about mentorship or fatherhood. Maybe mixing difference styles, different archetypes is the way to be. Especially when raising multiple children. We cannot raise everyone the same, they are different people. So mixing things up and paying attention is the best path forward.
And in the end, God willing, we can go out like Yondu.
Successful and understood.
Love,
Dad
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